Inside the Box
by Melancholy Ink Splatter
Summary: Bellice. A story of falling in love with your best friend. Of loss and betrayal, of the lessons and mistakes you need two to make. It's just a simple teen love story, a time of firsts and lasts. And vampires. Language & sexual situations. Please R&R.
1. Prologue

**Hello friends. I'm attempting to begin another tale of the adventures of Alice and Bella. How far I'll get and how often I'll be able to update, I can't say. I'm in the middle of applying for colleges and scholarships, trying to get grades up, and a ton of other life-y things I'm sure I don't need to go into. I appreciate you taking a look, I hope you enjoy it. Please share your thoughts. Much love. **

Prologue

Alice.

Your name still gives me goose bumps whenever I say it. Your clear laugh, even the memory of, clears away all other thought. These things used to be good. They used to fill me with warmth and sheer delight that I was yours. You've been gone for three months, Alice. I've spent the winter alone, the cold, white world outside my window only reminding me of you. I can't dream about a white Christmas, or hope for snow days, or even rejoice when the spring finally approaches. It's still just your shadow. Real but only in my memory.

Carlisle won't say where you've gone. I see him talking with patients at the hospital or with your family, laughing. But as soon as he notices me it's like a sad breeze blows out the light in his golden eyes. Your eyes. I can't find the color anywhere else. I think it was made just for you. I don't think anyone else could manage such a feature. It would look corny, off balance. Just like your deathly pale skin. What would be the color of a corpse transforms into the creamy plumage of a dove.

I've tried to chalk up our time together as nothing more than a fairytale. A sweet but vanishing pixie. No, an elf queen. But then I feel ridiculous. Because for all I know those creatures are just as plausible as vampires. But then when I think too much about that I really start to lose it. I begin to wonder if the whole thing was an elaborate fantasy that I worked up in my head but never actually happened. When the doubt grows too strong to where I can actually feel it ripping me apart I pull out the few remaining scraps of who we were. Together. A dried flower pressed between the folds of a note we passed in class, movie tickets, the two foot long shopping receipt from that trip to the city, a mask, bus transfers, those first autumn leaves… They're odd things to hold on to I guess, but they put me at ease. They bring you back to me, if only for a moment.

I hold the small box as if it contains the secrets you haven't shared with me. I hold it gently, for a moment almost feeling you there with me. I slide down the edge of my bed and almost hear you speak my name. But I can't hold on for long and set the memories to rest back under my bed.

When the feeling doesn't pass and I can smell your familiar aroma, can feel the air shift and grow cooler, I look up.

Your graceful figure hesitates in the doorway, your eyes searching mine. Alice.

Where have you been?


	2. Heist

**Chapter One**

I woke up on a sunny day for Forks feeling surprisingly rejuvenated, fresh. I swung out of bed and washed up in the bathroom, brushing through my hair. Maybe it's time for a trim, I thought. Alice kept complaining about my split ends, even offered to nip a bit off for me herself. But as adorable as her spiky hair was, I wasn't sure I could pull it off. I still didn't trust her completely when it came to big "fashionable decisions" for me. This was further proved when I glanced into my closet, finding my boring attire, quickly grabbing simple jeans and a t-shirt. On one of the hangers I noticed a trendy scarf that hadn't been there before. It was meant to be warn with these clothes or Alice wouldn't have snuck it in here. She'd taken a liking to leaving me little tips now and then. I arranged it in the way I thought it was supposed to go, feeling ridiculous wearing a scarf in the middle of spring. Quickly fixing Charlie some coffee and eggs, I grabbed my backpack and headed out to my truck. But there was a slight problem.

My truck was gone.

"Charlie?" I called, not too worried yet. He might have moved it. He did that sometimes if he needed the space in the driveway for a project or if company needed to park there.

"Yeah Bells?" he answered from the kitchen, eating the breakfast I'd prepared.

"Did you move my truck to the back?"

"No..." I heard his chair scrape across the floor and he joined me outside. We walked around the house but my truck was gone. Fantastic.

"Who would want to steal that clunker?" I asked, but really I loved my truck. Despite its antiquity I'd always felt safe driving it. It had been a gift from Charlie, and frankly, it felt pretty shitty to be stolen from.

"I'll call it in," Charlie said, wiping a bit of egg from his mustache. There went my good day. I kicked a branch lying on the ground, sitting on the back porch miserably. I wondered who I could beg a ride off of, but didn't want to impose on anyone and Charlie had to work. I wasn't up for Edward's hasty driving either. It wasn't so far, I could walk it, I'd just be late. As I sat there pouting I gradually noticed the growling din of another vehicle around the front. Probably Billy. But no, it sounded more familiar. I jogged back around the house, hoping the thief had grown a conscience and decided to give me back my wheels. The truth was slightly more odd.

"Morning, Bella," Edward called, stepping out of my truck, not bothering to cut the engine. I didn't reply, waiting for an explanation. Charlie came out, raising an eyebrow at us. "Don't tell me you forgot I was taking your truck in for repairs," he said as if I was supposed to have known it in the first place.

"Repairs?"

"Yeah. It sails a little smoother now." He smiled at Charlie, giving me a half hug. I hated it when he did that. I admit I was a little spacey sometimes, but I wouldn't forget something like that. He'd never asked if it was okay to make reservations for dinner that one night that I had a migraine, or the time he took off for a week without explanation or a simple phone call, numerous times he'd breezed through homework assignments for me just so we could have more "us" time. I'd end up failing the next test on whatever the subject was. And now this.

Charlie had pretty much shrugged off the event and went back inside, saying he'd see me after school. Then I remembered.

"Oh, I'm going with Alice after school. Is that okay?"

"Are you asking or telling, Bella?" Edward chuckled.

Please shut up, Edward, I wanted to say.

"Fine, Bells. It's friday so just be home at a reasonable time. Have fun."

"Thanks, dad."

I shrugged off Edward's arm and quickly jumped into my truck and locked the door. I was about to drive off when Edward closed the passenger door behind him, still smiling. "Lead on, milady," he said, completely oblivious that I was angry with him. I rolled my eyes and gritted my teeth, trying to calm down as I backed out of the parking space. It really wasn't a big deal after all. His heart was in the right place. I just wish he would ask. I would have thought he'd meant it as a surprise if he hadn't made it sound like I'd forgotten yet again about this little detail. Me and my silly human brain. It just couldn't keep up with the likes of Edward Cullen. But I let it slide, trying to turn the day back around.

He held my hand as I drove. "You know you can drive up to eighty now, Bella honey," he said.

"The speed limit is forty," I reminded him. I felt his hand twitch in mine but he didn't look anything but calm and collected.

"So, where are you and Alice going after school?" he asked.

"The mall I think. Maybe some other places before along the way."

"Like where?" he turned his golden eyes on me.

"Just some errands."

"I'd really like to know."

I shrugged

"Bella?"

"I don't know, just places. Why does it matter?" He was pushing this a little much. I focussed on the road.

"I just want to know so if something happens I can make sure you're okay."

"If something happens, you'll be too far away to do anything," I said calmly. I reached into my bag for some Advil. "Besides, Alice will be with me."

"I'm aware she'll be with you dear, you just said that." He said it in that 'you poor silly human' voice. Maybe it was just my perception. He handed me a water bottle, unscrewing the lid for me.

"Maybe I should go with you to make sure."

I nearly gagged on the water and Advil but managed to swallow. "No, I'll be fine. Promise."

"That's not really something you can promise, is it dear?"

I sighed. I sped up a little as I saw the school coming into view. I needed a break from him. Maybe it was just the headache. I was probably overreacting. I did that a lot. I parked the car and in an instant he had the door open for me, reaching in to turn off the car. I mumbled a thanks and shut the door. Before I knew it he had me scooped up in a tight embrace, kissing me deeply. I tried to return the enthusiasm but just wasn't feeling it. I slung my bag over my shoulder and trudged to my first class, feeling the icicles of his fingers clutching onto mine.

The day did get better. I got an A on an English essay and had a sub in gym so didn't have to do anything majority active. At lunch I sat with the Cullens and Alice was always the key to cheering me up. I hardly cared about the truck incident anymore, mostly because she turned it into such a comical happening. She was pleased I'd worn the scarf, saying I'd picked out a rather charming combination. I knew she was just saying it to be nice, but it did make me feel good.

I was taking a new class, drama. Alice had talked me into it, saying I needed to get over my shyness and expand my horizons or something. The teacher was always entertaining, very eccentric, and we always started off with one of those elementary school 'get to know one another' games. We were finishing up production for a play. I mostly worked on the sets and lighting. Alice had one of the main leads as always. I had been surprised when she'd been cast as Peter Pan, it not being the slightest bit possible for her to look at all masculine, but as always she pulled off the part superbly. I was given a standard understudy like everyone else, but had never had to act before. I was horrible at it. I liked it better behind the scenes; I felt useful. Nothing pleased me more than to run and grab a costume for someone, fix this or that if I knew how. I think Alice and I both had equal shares of fun in our own ways. Seeing the way she and the others were able to bring _Hamlet_ and _Death of a Salesman_, among other plays to life, was thrilling to say the least. That's not to say it was all fun, she didn't hesitate to push me out of my shell when she felt the opportunity arise. Once she had me read a very fast, very tongue-tying monologue in front of the class for an extra credit project. I'll admit it was a little fun, but only because I got to see her smile.

I followed her out to her car as she gracefully buzzed around me like a little fairy.

"Take it easy, Energizer Bunny," I teased her.

She scowled and stuck at her tongue like a child, whisking me inside her car and driving swiftly from the parking lot. She drove fast, but never sped full out like Edward to the point where I actually feared for my life. I had no homework thank god, flinging my backpack over the seat behind me, sighing in relief. Alice turned on the radio and asked if I had any requests.

"Let's just finish that CD you played last time."

She smiled, connecting her tiny MP3 player into her stereo and selecting the album. Somehow she managed to do this without ever taking her eyes off the road. Maybe she could See when she would scroll down to the correct one. She did that cute shoulder dance she does, the one when she has to keep her hands on the wheel but you can tell she'll simply explode with energy if she doesn't bop around. I giggled myself silly the entire car ride. She even got me dancing a little. I dropped off a few books at the library and she grabbed some hyped up heart throb teen fantasy novel. Something about forbidden love and all that. I made fun of her for it as we stopped at a few other stores before our trip to the mall where I collected the first of many souvenirs of her to come.

**Thanks for reading, more to come-**_**soon**_** I hope! Would love some feedback. If you have something you'd like me to stick in the story, I'm open.**


	3. The Talk

**Not sure if I like this chapter, I didn't really re-read through it so I hope it's alright. Let me know what you think. Enjoy.**

**Chapter Two**

The mall wasn't terribly busy, but I guess I was comparing it to the last time I'd been there around the holidays. Alice was lured into almost every store it seemed, though when I told her this she almost looked a little offended.

"Bella, I do not just shop _anywhere," _she chided. "And clearly not with just anyone." she linked our arms and practically skipped down the glossy floors into the eighth shop we'd visited. Or maybe it was eighteen. I looked at my cell phone's clock. We'd been there almost three hours. It would be getting dark out soon.

"Ooh!" she squeaked, pulling me over to a mannequin dressed in the latest fashion. "This would bring out your eyes so well."

"Ugly teal brings out murky brown eyes?" I asked warily.

She rolled her own amber gold eyes, grabbing my hand and pulling me into yet another jungle of satin and cotton, wool and silk. I'd gotten pretty used to the whole thing since I'd known her, and I admit the more we went it was less and less of a chore. But I'd get used to venomous spiders if it meant being around Alice. When I found something for her she almost always bought it, so maybe I wasn't so bad at it either. There was a dance coming up apparently and she wanted to get ready as soon as possible.

"I'm not really up for dances, Alice," I admitted, reminding her of last year's junior prom. I'd gone with Edward. Was that really just last year? It seemed forever ago. So much had changed. At least that's how it felt. I remembered Alice and all the Cullens being amazing as always, and Edward was... well, I guess we were still a pretty young couple then. Things were fresher, exciting. My temporary high slipped a little and I disappeared into a dressing room so Alice wouldn't notice the shift. There was no point bringing her down with me. I felt ridiculous in everything I tried on. It wasn't that nothing fit, I just didn't feel like myself in any of them. But once I'd changed back into my own clothes, nothing much changed. Something was wrong. I'd been feeling off for months, maybe longer. I kept thinking it would pass, that it was just stress from school or something, but that wasn't quite it.

"Alice?" I asked through the door. Her reply came from the fitting room next to mine.

"Yes, dearest?" she sang. I heard the rustling of a frilly dress, a zipper.

"I was just wondering how Edward's been at home." I tried to sound casual, but I feared the subject was a bit too out of the blue. Of course, Alice would never make it into anything awkward. I swear I could tell her anything and it would be perfectly normal. Nothing was 'too weird' or taboo.

"You mean lately? Same old Eddie. Pounding out his mood on the piano, locking himself up in his room with his music blaring. That's pretty much it."

"No, but I mean... how's he been acting toward others..." I didn't feel like I was asking the right question, or was going about it wrong.

Alice paused. I didn't like the pause.

"Is there perhaps something specific you'd like to share with me?"

I sighed, suddenly regretting bringing it up. Because this was supposed to be fun. A chance to forget about everything at home and just relax with my best friend. But I knew I had to talk about it eventually or I'd never be able to focus on anything else. And it did feel good to talk with her. She could give advice on anything.

She bought me an extremely delicious smoothie and we sat at one of the tables in a cozy cafe a few miles from the mall. I told her about Edward's stunt that morning and a few other incidents. She looked sympathetic as I spoke, but didn't really look very surprised.

"Bella," she said, taking my hand across the table. It was as cold as Edward's only about five times as soft and her grip was very gentle. "I think it's time we had the talk."

"Um, the talk?"

"Yes. The Edward Talk."

"The... Edward-?"

"Yes. You see, once upon a time there was a very emotional boy. He had a fatal disease called a God complex. He was a very well meaning, but a very ignorant and stuck up little prat-"

"Alice!"

She shrugged, eyes going wide innocently.

"But-let me finish-one day he met a very nice woman who taught him how to keep his charming comments and such to himself."

"I wouldn't say I've done that..."

She looked startled. "Of course not. The very nice woman is _me_."

I laughed. "Oh, but of course." She grinned and went on.

"The problem is you can't really teach a dog new tricks... or I guess, you can't teach a controlling, misleading, emotionally crippled-"

"Alice, come on," I shoved her hand away. "He's not all that bad."

"You asked me how he's been at home. It's the same way he's been with you. Forever. That's just how he is, Bella. I love my brother, don't get me wrong, but he's never been one for long term relationships, and it's usually never the girl who's the problem."

I thought about that for a moment.

"I didn't know... I mean, I didn't think it was so bad. I mean, it's not _that _bad. We all have our flaws."

"Did he even apologize this morning for 'borrowing' your truck?"

"Well, not exactly."

"Look, I'm not trying to make him out to be some kind of monster, and I definitely wouldn't have said anything if I thought you were happy, but the fact is that you've been miserable."

"Is it that obvious?" I worried.

"Well, you're talking with someone who can see all the events in your day before you have the chance to do them, but yes. It's apparent. He might be able to read everyone's mind except yours, but there's no reason he should be that oblivious to what you're feeling... I hope I haven't been too bold."

"No..." I sighed. "I think you're right. It's actually kind of good to hear. I mean, I love... loved him so much... but..."

"But it is _loved_, not currently in love."

"Right. I mean, maybe. I don't know." I chewed on the end of my straw nervously. I was being such a drama queen about all of this. Making it into such a huge deal. Edward loved me, he was amazing. Why was I hounding him for such little flaws? They were nothing compared to my novel long list of problems. He was probably just frustrated with me slowing him down all the time or maybe my blood was still too tempting for him and it was too stressful. There were tons of explanations.

"Maybe you should talk with him," Alice suggested.

"I think I will," I nodded. I wanted so badly to fix things. To make amends. "And I won't tell him we talked, don't worry."

"Why should I worry about that?" she chirped, her smile never dropping. Her curious expression was adorable.

"Because, oh what was it, a God complex? Stuck up prat-?"

"I could care less if he heard the truth. Might do him some good." she nodded and jumped up to go grab me a napkin though I didn't really need one. I thought about that for a moment, wondering if the truth-was it the truth?-had done me any good. I wasn't sure how to feel about our discussion, or the one to come with Edward. One thing was sure that not even this ruined Alice's mood. She twirled around the cafe as she came back to our table, humming something upbeat. Good old Alice. I couldn't imagine how I lived without her before.

As we drove back, I thought more about our conversation, though I tried not to. Alice never seemed to mind my glum mood, for I knew she easily saw past my facade.

"Just promise me you will talk to him," she insisted.

"I will."

"Well, if you promise, I'll believe you. But I just got a vision of you chickening out."

"I'm not going to chicken out, Alice," I hit her arm playfully. To my shock, she suddenly swerved to the left, slamming on the breaks sharply. I gasped, slamming back into my seat. She looked slightly paler, if that was possible.

"I'm so sorry!" I stuttered. I didn't think I'd shoved her that hard.

"Are you alright?" she said. We didn't hit anything, just slid a bit. I tried to steady my pounding heart.

"Fine." I didn't bother asking if she was okay. If I was, then she was more so. I tried to see out the window but it was pitch dark now. I was looking over at Alice when suddenly my door flew open. A stark white hand reached in for my arm, another following it. I almost screamed but once I was enveloped in a chilly embrace, I knew it was him.

"Edward?" I managed to turn my head to see his Volvo in the middle of the road. No lights on. Inches from Alice's car. Alice had probably been too distracted with her vision to notice him approaching, and with their combined speeds... I was surprised she'd swerved in time.

Alice was yelling at him, but all I heard was him talk about how worried he was and how Charlie was probably going crazy himself. "You call this a reasonable time to return home?"

To my frustration, though I was still too surprised from the near wreck to do anything more than look around stupidly, he guided me into the Volvo without so much as glancing at Alice. When he finally did close my door and walk around to the driver's side, I saw them exchange a brief, but livid glance. I didn't need to read minds to know that Edward was reading hers, discovering all we'd discussed back at the cafe. I wanted to apologize immediacy to Alice. To go back to her and tell them both I was just kidding, that it was all just silly hormonal Bella making a mess of everything. But above all I did not want to be in that car. Before I could realize any of this, we were several feet away from the slowly shrinking pixie shimmering in the headlights of her car. I didn't say goodbye when he dropped me off. I barely managed to get to sleep without crying myself there. That was the day I decided things needed to change.

The night I started locking my window.


	4. Armor

As brightly decorated posters advertising the play were spattered around the school, it became more a more apparent just how little time we had left. It hadn't really hit me until then, that in just a few short months, I'd be on my own. Graduated from high school and, I hoped, free. I didn't have any particular plans. I'd applied and gotten scholarships, acceptance letters from colleges, but none of them really pulled me in. There was nothing I was particularly good at except cooking and techie work on stage. Who knew, I might even take a year off. Alice said she'd take me backpacking through Europe, but I sort of had to dismiss the idea as soon as it was presented. While I liked to think that my boyfriend didn't control every little aspect of my life, he was definitely a factor in holding me back. The trouble was, I'd never been very good at making up my mind or taking the lead in getting what I wanted. Apathy was definitely among my flaws. I guess that's why Edward and I worked so well at first. Because he did know how to treat a girl when he wanted to, make her feel like she was the only thing in the world that mattered. He took charge. But now I was afraid that, to him, I really was the only thing he had. It was too much pressure, for at least me if not him as well. Edward was no longer the center of my universe and the shine had worn off fast.

Alice fluttered by me, streamers flowing from her hands, waltzing as she decorated the halls. Could a spark like that ever burn down? She'd been like this forever as far as I knew, as far as anyone knew really. Nothing brought her down. And I guessed that nothing ever would. They, the vampires, were frozen in more ways than their bodies. They could learn all there was to know in the world but still be themselves. Their personality would not change. I thought about that for a long time, and though I tried not to, I couldn't help but compare my best friend and Edward. It wasn't like it was a competition or anything, though any way I looked at it, Alice won. The people you fill your life with should make you happy. When I was with Alice, unless of course I was thinking of Edward, I felt normal at worst, overjoyed at best. The two extremes with Edward were bad and worse. That definitely put things in perspective for me.

So after school I strapped on my armor and went into battle.

I met him by his car, waves of kids rushing past to their own vehicles. It was almost too sunny for the Cullens to be roaming about. But I was glad for the good weather. It gave me just that slight push of energy I needed.

"You don't need to say anything," he told me. "I already know."

"I need to talk with you though. It's really important."

"Why don't you just talk to-?" he started, eyes cold. I knew who he was referring to, but I was glad he caught himself. He was trying.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that, Edward. I've probably done a lot of things that annoy the hell out of you."

"You could never _annoy _me, Bella," he said. "You just scare me."

A moment of understanding passed between us and he opened the door of his car for me. I got in and we drove to the meadow. We didn't touch except for when I rode on his back to save time, and we sat apart, awkward. The green seemed to swallow us and every possible thought.

"So basically," he said. "You think I'm a cruel monster."

"Absolutely not, you know that. But I admit I am feeling a little..." The meadow was just a little too quiet. This _was _difficult. If Alice hadn't made me promise, I probably would have backed out like she predicted. "Unsure?"

"Unsure about us?" he looked so sad. Why was I doing this to him?

"No, that's not the right word... um, I'm just feeling..." Why couldn't I think of the proper word? I couldn't tell him I felt trapped. He'd hate himself. "I just think we have some things to work out. As every couple does."

He looked away from me, eyes searching for something in the distance. For a moment I just wanted to smile and tell him I was kidding about everything. He could simply scoop me up and we'd lay there like we used to. I missed him. But I knew I was missing the person I thought he was, not the man sitting before me. First impressions are often always wrong after all.

"Look, I'm sorry about all the horrible things I've done. Like your truck. I guess I should have reminded you."

"It's alright. Thanks." I smiled. Now what? I was no good at this, and my motivation was slipping fast. "Maybe also..." I asked in what I thought was a very gentle tone. "You could trust Alice a little more? I feel almost as safe with her as I do you." I could see him perk up a tiny bit at the word 'almost.'

He nodded. "Like I said. You just scare me when I'm not there to make sure you're safe. I feel like I die a little whenever you're hurt."

"I'm _going _to get hurt. I'm human." He frowned. "But I'm not as fragile as you think I am." I reached out and gripped his hand as hard as I could. I looked him in the eye, willing him to believe that I wasn't going to shatter and blow away in the wind at any given moment. "Humans all over the world function perfectly fine without the protection of vampires in shining armor."

His mouth upturned at that. "You have such a funny way of looking at things." He gripped my hand back slightly, no where near enough to hurt, pulling me over to him. I smiled and, though I knew we still had a long way to go, felt a little better. It was the first time in a long time that his touch was welcomed instead of ignored or simply tolerated. I tried to forget about the little details for a moment and just let things go back to the way they were.

When he carried me back and we walked a mile or two together before reaching my house, we continued to talk about some of the issues we were having, though I tried not to touch on the big ones just yet. Maybe I wouldn't have to. He did seem to understand that I hadn't been pleased with him and it looked as though things would be looking up. It would have been nice to hear a few more assurances from him, but after all, he was a guy. Call me sexist, but I do believe in distinct differences between males and females. And Edward in particular wasn't the best at relaying his feelings. Maybe we could work on that too.

He left me to myself, mentioning something about sleep but then catching himself.

"Of course you can decide for yourself when you need rest. I just mean-" he went on babbling for a minute before I cut him off with a kiss.

"Good night, Edward." He smiled.

I still locked my window, but things were definitely less hostile. Some more time and who knew? He even invited me over for dinner, saying I could cook it and everything if I wanted to, though he liked the idea of going out to a fancy restaurant more so I could just take it easy. I agreed, actually quite looking forward to it. I hadn't seen Esme for a while after all.

I started on some homework after he left and not long after an excited Alice tapped on my window, somehow not jolting me out of my concentration.

"You left your clothes in my car," she said, carrying several large bags from the trip to the mall. I had forgotten all about them, though acted jubilantly as I hung them carefully in my closet next to my peasant attire. I knew why she was really here, could almost feel the questions radiating from her. It was actually pretty cute, I had to admit. But I was torturing the poor thing, so eventually told her about my conversation with Edward.

"So..." she started.

"I think we're going to be okay," I smiled. It felt really good to say it aloud.

She didn't say anything, just smiled. The silence was too long.

"What is it?" I whispered. I almost didn't want to ask.

"Nothing, really."

"Come on, tell me."

"It's not my place. I'm glad you're happy.."

"_You _won't be happy if you don't tell me what it is," I demanded.

She sighed. "It's just, this doesn't fix things, Bella. I hate to be a jerk, but..." she shook her head. I sat down on my bed.

"I know we still have a long way to go. But we're going to get there."

"What exactly do you see happening? To where are you going?" she asked. I could tell she was struggling with continuing the conversation. She still felt like she shouldn't give her opinion.

"People do change, Alice."

"Maybe. But vampires don't. Edward doesn't."

I knew it was true deep down but had had too great of a day to accept it. I felt like we'd made real progress. But what exactly had happened? He'd apologized. He'd been courteous. But I couldn't say anything had really _changed._ He still didn't understand why he'd been wrong in the first place. He didn't understand _why _I didn't need twenty four/seven protection.

"He wants to change, so he will. He _can _do it. He loves me enough." But I didn't even sound convincing to myself. And that kind of pissed me off. What if he really couldn't revert back to that amazing person I'd met over a year ago? What if we did split up? It unnerved me how much that thought didn't really bother me.

Alice came over to me suddenly, wrapping her arm around me. Without really thinking about it, I began to sob. I wrapped my arms around her middle and she rubbed my back. She didn't tell me it was going to be okay, or that I was right about Edward and things would work out. That was the great thing about Alice. She never lied. She always seemed so detached from all the drama, indifferent to it. She felt like a safe haven from it all. That I could just let go, take off my armor. Things were manageable with her advice, her friendship. Her refusal to leave my side even when anyone else would have out of irritation. And best yet, I knew she really did love me. It was a powerful, yet odd sort of love. The kind that you couldn't quite put a label on but would easily last a lifetime. She made me feel that I could cry an ocean if need be, though she also filled me with the strength I needed afterward. I was never too sure about any relationship, including Edward. Not even my friends back in Phoenix, though they were all dear to me. But sooner or later they all let you down in some way. Even family. But so far Alice hadn't slipped up once, and if she did, I knew she'd spent eternity trying to make amends. Even I knew that was rare. I felt pretty spoiled. Just considering it alone made the whole situation with my boyfriend rather inconsequential. He was a good person, but Alice was angelic. You know, in that kick ass sort of way.

Anyway, I was glad she'd dropped the clothes off.

**Thanks for reading, please review!**


	5. Under Fire

Dinner was a disaster.

Okay, so maybe that's putting it mildly.

I'd stayed up all night with Edward, talking some more about our relationship, consequentially leaving me exhausted the next day. I'd idiotically prepared enough food for everyone, completely spacing on the fact that vampires don't eat regular food. This was made even worse when a few of them graciously attempted to dine human style. Esme mostly just stirred the homemade soup around in her bowl with a spoon, Carlisle sampling a bit with interest. I wasn't really sure why Rosalie was there. She looked far from happy. Surely no one was forcing her to stay? But who knew with her. Emmett and Alice kept things light, skillfully burying the awkwardness with jokes and interesting conversation. Edward didn't say a lot, mostly just looked patient. Was he enjoying himself? Just waiting for me to finish? I worried that it was the latter and tried to hurry up. This resulted in me choking on a chunk of potato, hot soup scolding my throat.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and Emmett flew over to give me the heimlich. I suppose we looked pretty comical but I was far from being able to laugh. He'd picked up the chair with me still in it, clasped hands pumping into my stomach, my hair and limbs flying wildly like a rag doll. The chair was toast, but luckily none of the shards of wood drew blood.

"Not so hard," Carlisle warned just as the chunk flew from my throat and I gasped for air. I was already in Edward's arms but immediately made him put him down, doubled over from Emmett's unintentional brute strength. I tried not to breath so deeply, knowing full well the effect it had on the family. But shallow breathing was not what I needed and ended up passing out for a few seconds.

And the number one klutz of the year award goes to...

Tada. Me again.

Everyone except Rosalie was trying to help. Alice got me a glass of water and Esme rested ice wrapped in a towel on my forehead. I wanted to laugh because it wasn't nearly as cold as her hands. Emmett kicked away what used to be my chair, collecting the pieces in a trash bag which ripped and caused an even bigger mess. When I was finally breathing normally and no serious injuries were found, Edward began to yell at everyone, blaming them for my marvelous mistake. When I wasn't dizzy and could stand, I rested a hand on his shoulder and tried to calm him down. He was still furious with Emmett, pointing at the sharp pieces of chair.

"Edward, he was helping me. He didn't mean t-"

"That's _exactly _the sort of thing that's going to get you killed, Bella!" he shouted right in my face. "One of us is going to make an irreversible mistake and no amount of apologies will ever bring you back!"

An acidic pause. Something was burning in the oven.

"Dramatic much?" commented Rosalie under her breath. Edward's eyes grew wide as he turned on her. My stomach turned and I bit my lip accidently as I saw his hand raise, certain that he was going to hit her. But he heard my gasp and turned back to me, black eyes growing softer, face ashamed. Rosalie hadn't even flinched.

They say you can tell a lot from a guy by the way he treats his sisters.

He began apologizing fiercely, though all I wanted was to tell everyone that it was okay and that I was so sorry for wrecking everything. He held me until I was shaking from the cold, the others clearing away the mess, giving us our space. But I didn't want space, I wanted a rewind button. An anti-clumsy ray gun with extra powerful moron destroyers.

Instead what I got was my dad. And the fire department.

We heard the blaring sirens a mile off. Esme ran to the stove, trying to beat at the flames with a towel or something. Alice got the fire extinguisher as Carlisle helped me from the smoke. My eyes watered and I felt sick after a only a minute. The grey smoke was like an ashen fog. Edward never left my side, bringing me to the garage where his Volvo sat. I'd spotted Charlie's cruiser along the way.

"I need to see Charlie," I coughed. "He needs to know I'm okay." I realized there was almost a question in my tone and instantly scolded myself. As if I was asking his permission to see my own father now. I was coughing badly but ran from the garage and towards the deafening sirens. Were those really necessary? They'd spotted the fire. Probably already had it out. I bet the noise was killing the Cullens' ears if it hurt mine. I somehow managed to find Charlie, the relief on his face making more tears burn my eyes. We hugged and I got in the squad car, just wanting the whole thing to be over. He still had to do some things before we could go home, but everyone was safe. Not that I was surprised. The fire had gotten a little out of hand but the firefighters had it out in about ten minutes. I saw Edward's Volvo racing away down a back road and wondered if I'd offended him by wanting to see my dad instead of him. If that were the case he could just deal with it. Let him mope, I really didn't care. And... that was a nice change. Yes, for once apathy felt good, felt _right._ I waited in the cop car staring out as the smoking mansion, the Cullens explaining what had happened. Carlisle and Charlie were laughing about something and shook hands. I guess everything was settling down. I hadn't really realized how tired I was. Bone aching tired, or was that just from Emmett's rescue?

The evening kept playing in my head, Edward's irate voice ringing in my memory.

That's _exactly _the sort of thing that's going to get you killed, Bella!

Was it? Was he right about that? I didn't know, and neither could he. The only person who might have a clue of what my fate would be was Alice. As if she'd heard my thoughts, Alice tapped lightly on the window, smiling softly. I rolled it down and tried not to appear so depressed.

"How are you feeling, hon?" she asked. Her voice had a soothing way about it. She rested her folded arms on the side of the car, leaning her chin on them. I shrugged and she reached a hand in.

"They recommend fresh air," she gestured over at the fire truck. They still hadn't killed the siren and I felt a headache coming on. "If you'd like to walk for a while."

That did make me feel better. I smiled and took her hand, getting out of the car. I waved at Charlie to let him know I was leaving and he nodded, turning back to a notebook where he was probably taking notes on the accident.

"All that over a silly cake," I said.

Alice took off her jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders, along with her arms. It was a pretty chilly night. I guess I should have noticed that she made it even colder, but with the jacket it didn't seem to hit me. We didn't talk for a while, just enjoyed each others company. We walked till we got to the stretch of beach closest to my house, which was still pretty far away. It was nice being away from all the clamor. I found myself leaning into Alice, tired but still awake. Her spiky locks tickled my face and I smiled at her familiar aroma. I had this ongoing debate with myself over wether it was peaches or some kind of flower. But it was also a spice... Rosemary peach lilac? I somehow doubted it was a perfume.

"Alice," I whispered. She was rocking from side to side gently. It was near impossible not to drift off. "I'm leaving Edward."

Suddenly the gentle rocking ebbed. She leaned away, looking at me confused.

"But I though you two were going..." she trailed off.

"I've been thinking a lot and I think it's time. It's just way too-wait, you though we were going where?"

Her eyebrows furrowed and she turned away from me, standing up and walking a couple paces away.

"But you've been doing better, haven't you?"

"I thought we might be until tonight." I didn't want to mention the part where he'd almost struck Rosalie. Even if we didn't get on too well, and he couldn't really have hurt her, it still got to me. I hadn't even imagined the thought would occur to him. "He just doesn't seem to get it. And I'm tired of trying. Maybe I'm giving up too easily, maybe these things are normal in a relationship-" an image of him screaming at his well meaning brother who'd just saved my life "-and I'm the one to blame..."

I stood up and picked up a rock nestled in the gritty sand. I threw it hard into the rolling water. It didn't make a sound as the waves accepted it.

"But I don't think so."

Her expression was hard to read. A silence I wished she'd been filling passed before we silently agreed to walk the rest of the way home. I got the feeling walking through the woods as I did when I'd first arrived in Forks. One big green alien world where I was used to desert. She didn't say a word and I had too much to think about to urge her. She gave me a hug goodnight but no smile.

"I'm going to stay away from the house tonight in case Edward comes back. I doubt he will, but I don't want him finding out the news through me," she tapped her head.

"You're welcome to stay here if you want," I offered.

"Thanks, but he might come here too."

"I hope not..." I mumbled, reminding myself to make sure the window was locked.

She nodded, frowning slightly. She was halfway down the drive when I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Alice?"

She looked back at me.

"You're... you're not mad at me are you?"

Finally she laughed a little. "Impossible." She began to walk backwards. "I'll see you at school, okay?"

"Okay." I felt like a small child, felt like I'd missed something completely. As the darkness enveloped her, I knew that tomorrow might be even worse than today. Or maybe it would finally be the answer I'd been looking for. Anyway, I was ready. It was time.

"Goodnight, Alice."

**A/N: Sorry for the late update. I hope you all had a fantastic holiday. Leave a nice present for MIS by reviewing? ^^ Much love, hope you liked it.**


	6. Bare Honesty

**A/N: Thank you all for the awesome reviews! Especially those I cannot reply to due to you not having an account or something. I dunno what it is exactly, but thank you all. The next chapter is all in the present tense-assuming I didn't miss parts while quickly skimming through it. I hope you like it or at least don't hate it... I made Bella strange. Anyway, it's supposed to be comical. Enjoy. ^^**

Edward Cullen reveals himself to me. He is a vampire. He drinks human blood. He knows how to kill. A family of vampires are 'undead' a few miles away from where my father and I live. He watches me sleep. Why none of this creeps me out like it would a sane person? Simple.

Because I am Bella.

He stands before me like he can't see what's coming. He can read my mind right now. I know that my words are scribbled across my face before I narrate them, hurl them at him. Show him how deeply I've tried to fix the things he remains oblivious to. I tell him I do not like big, messy confrontations. He's nodding, agreeing sympathetically. Look up, I want to tell him. Read my lips. My eyes. If your ears can't comprehend. Maybe we can try sign language? Miming?

Music seems to be the only language he will listen to. It will keep giving forever without want for anything back. But I'm not like that. I need certain things. I don't consider myself a greedy or particularly selfish person. If anything most of the time I fail to see when I'm setting myself up for hurt in a situation. Case and point: my current boyfriend.

Hold up. Back up for a second.

So I'm at the Cullens.' Mostly everyone's gone and Edward and I have our privacy. It's been about a week since dinner here and I've decided that come saturday-_tomorrow_-I'll have told Edward that I'm terminating our relationship. So I'd been dragging my feet a little, but it's not always so simple; especially when you've been with someone for over a year. Or however long this thing has loitered on. I start off the way we usually do. I ask him how his day was.

"Nothing to report," he replies. His mouth is a hard line, his eyes don't meet mine.

"Learn anything interesting in school?" I know, it's a mom question, but I'm just trying to make small talk.

"I'm over a hundred years old, Bella. What could I possibly learn in a school that life hasn't already taught me? Let alone something interesting."

"Common courtesy?" No, I don't say it aloud. I attempt idle chatter for a few more minutes before I decide his jaw is probably permanently stuck the way it is. He reorganizes his CDs on the rows of shelves in his room while I sit on the couch that apparently is not big enough for two. Then I have an... odd moment, shall we say. One where suddenly things don't matter a whole lot and I have nothing to lose. This may seem a little crazy but bear with me. Still not paying attention, Edward is lost in his own world. I feel like I'm the only person there. Slowly, one article at a time, I begin to undress. Shoes, socks, pants, sweatshirt, t-shirt, bra, underwear. One after another, they fall noiselessly to the floor. I lace my fingers together and wait.

I count all the things in the room that are blue.

I notice that one of my nails is uneven and peck at it.

I glance at the clock. Ten minutes since my disrobing.

He speaks! Nope, just clearing his throat.

Twenty minutes. Thirty. We have a new record. Where has he gone? No, he doesn't have any headphones on. Perhaps he's forgotten I'm here? Better make myself comfortable I guess. I really want to start laughing but that would ruin the fun. That word-fun-doesn't quite fit, but it's the first that comes to mind. I think, really, I wanted to be seen in a different way. Not for attention, just a new kind. But he doesn't turn around. Same old oblivious Ed.

It isn't until Alice comes in that I snap out of it. Sharply.

"Hey, do you-_Bella_!" she exclaims. "Um...." I scramble for my clothes and she looks away, completely blushing. In expression if not from blood rushing to her cheeks as in my case. I try to tell myself that we're both girls, nothing new to see... but it still kills me. I grit my teeth in embarrassment, wondering just what the hell I was doing. As I sloppily cover my exposed skin, I hastily make hand motions to urge her to distract him, as if that's necessary. He's still just staring intensely at his damn CDs. Through my clumsy gestures and attempts to pull on my pants, she somehow gets the message. Just in time too. Edward turns around from his reorganizing, face just as vague and unseeing as ever. She pulls him into a hug, eyes wide.

"Oh, Edward! It's so good to have Bella here isn't it?" she chirps as I realize my shirt is inside out. I curse and tear it off again, hair a wreck. "She's always such a wonderful... surprise. And such _bare _honesty with her friends, don't you think? So _open _minded."

Don't help me, Al.

"Yes," he pats her on the back.

"What...uh...what have you two been up to?" she asks hesitantly, glancing at me with raised eyebrows as I ditch the sweatshirt and tug my socks on, struggling with the laces on my shoes. He must be reading her mind, about to spin around at any second.

"Reorganizing my collection," he mutters, dropping his arms as Alice hangs on him awkwardly. She motions for me to hurry up. "In fact, I left those discs downstairs.." He turns and crosses to the door, only to tell me on his way out that "oh, your shoe is untied, dear. No wonder you're always tripping." He laughs a little and I chuckle all too artificially. When he's a foot out the door I turn to the pillow next to me and pound the stuffing out of it.

"Shit! Shit, shit, _shit!_"

"What the hell was that?" she whispers in her sweet voice.

"I...um...yes, well... this was..." I stumble.

She shakes her head, bewildered. I try to explain as she bends down and ties my shoe lace in a perfect bow, resting her porcelain face on my knee and gazing up at me impishly.

"Is this usually how you break up with your boyfriends?" she teases.

"Quiet, he'll hear you," I scold.

"If he didn't hear you flailing like that a mere four feet away, then I think he's too distracted to listen through the floor." She giggles and gracefully flows down on to the couch beside me.

"Besides... It's difficult." I shrug. "I've never broken up with anyone before. That is, he's my first."

"Well that explains a lot," though I'm not sure how it explains anything. "You've had no experience." Her expression is full of understanding. She nods as if the puzzle of the universe has suddenly snapped together.

"I was afraid that he'd read my mind and learn of your intentions, but sure enough-"

"-He's been oblivious."

"Dumb as a rock."

"But he knew about all that stuff we talked about at the mall..."

"Perhaps he's slowly losing his power," she says almost hopefully. "But a more pressing matter: have you completely lost your grip on reality?"

I sigh and lean back into the couch, wadding my sweatshirt over my face in disgruntlement. Through the fabric I whine, "I just wanted him to _see me. _I know it doesn't make sense. I'm just so sick of the same old reclusive person I'm supposed to be in love with._" _

"So you stripped naked and.... what? What did you expect him to do?"

"Just... anything." I yank the sweatshirt away and say loudly. "Anything!"

Alice's hands are just itching to fix my hair, I can tell.

"He claims to love me, want to protect me. And that's all fine and good but now I just feel ignored! I don't get it. It's like-"

"Bella," Alice coos. "Relax. Now you didn't come here just for this. Unless of course you're lying about everything and were simply discarding your clothes so I could dress you in more suitable ones," she reaches up to finger comb my hair into place.

"Alice."

"Didn't think so. In any case, you're here to _end _these problems aren't you? Isn't that what you want?"

"...Yeah..."

"And-" But she's cut short by Edward's footsteps on the stairs. We both scramble for no good reason, searching for something out of place. I pray he doesn't hear my heavy heartbeat or Alice's thoughts.

"May I speak with Bella alone please, Alice?" he asks. He said he'd gone to get some CDs but I didn't see them.

Oh god. Oh no. He _did_ hear. He knows!

Alice is gone all too quickly. I reach out to her as if to shield me, wanting to run, to just forget everything. Throw in the towel. I tried right?

"Bella, honey, there's some things we need to discuss." Now he looks at me.

"But... your CDs. Don't they need to be organized?" I leap over to the shelves, trying not to lose it completely.

"I don't care about that right now," he takes me in his arms.

"Edward... listen, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to-"

"Shh," he quiets me. "Let me speak, dear."

I whimper helplessly and wait for the deadly words.

"I'm sure you've noticed I've been a little distant lately... that's because I've had a lot on my mind. I know we've been having some minor issues but I think I have a solution."

I wait on baited breath. What can he mean? Surely he knows what I'm planning. He can read minds, can hear miles off. There's no way he could become _that _distracted... right?

He tucks my hair behind my ears and leans in for a kiss. Like an idiot I just stand there, unsure of what to do.

"Bella dear," he whispers. "You mean the world to me."

"Okay..." Is all I can manage. It's more of a breath than an actual word.

And before I know it he's kneeling.

Right there in the middle of his room, with my heart beating like a drum for the wrong reason, his hopeful face looking up at me behind a large diamond on a gold band.

"Be my wife."

Edward Cullen reveals himself to me. He is a vampire. He drinks human blood. He knows how to kill. A family of vampires are 'undead' a few miles away from where my father and I live. He watches me sleep. He has just proposed marriage.

He stands before me with all that hope in his eyes, he can't see what's coming. I wish he could read my mind, that my words were scribbled across my face before I have to narrate them, hurl them at him. Show him how deeply I do not love him, cannot be his. I tell him I do not like the idea of marriage, anything it stands for. He's nodding sympathetically. I have to tell him. I have to do this. So, a little shaky, I tell him.

"No."

And then I run.


	7. Ch Ch Changes

**Chapter Seven**

"No."

And then I ran.

And then I fell.

I managed to catch myself on the railing of the stairs before plummeting down the remaining eight or so. I was short of breath and beginning to sweat I was so nervous.

This is insane, I thought. I'd just been proposed to. And all I'd wanted to do was break up with the guy. Talk about being on the wrong page. Right, more like the wrong chapter. Maybe my rejection would do the job? I somehow doubted it. Edward wasn't the type to give up easily. I heard Alice say something just before I nearly collided with Rosalie, Carlisle, and the front door. Rosalie looked pissed as usual and Carlisle smiled and greeted me kindly. I swear that girl was frozen with eternal PMS. I'm just saying, she could lighten up a bit.

"Just leaving?" he asked.

"Yeah," though it would have been nice to have you as a father in law, I thought. Rosalie sidestepped around me with an air of venom, and I took the opportunity to say a quick goodbye and catapult outside like a cannon. If I'd taken the time to notice I would have smelled the warm pine scent of the air, the last bits of spring fading into summer. I heard my own ragged breathing as I threw myself into my truck and dug out my keys. My hand felt around in my pockets, searching in a frenzy. I heard approaching footsteps, _damn it. _I must have dropped them in Edward's room when I undressed. I slapped my forehead, groaning in frustration. Nice, Bella. Real smooth. I leaned back in the seat, waiting for Edward to begin his next monologue. But after a moment of silence I looked out the window to find no one there. Out the windshield, nothing. To my right-

"Shit, Alice, you scared the hell out of me!"

She giggled, tossing me my keys. "Sorry. But uh... speaking of hell," she glanced over her shoulder, propping herself on the headrest of her seat. "Edward just decided to try and catch you before you can drive off so unless you'd like to witness the vampire equivalent to weeping-"

"Noted." I shoved the key into the ignition and floored the gas. Alice giggled again as my car reached its full speed.

"You knew this was going to happen, didn't you!" I turned on her angrily.

Her smile dropped to a slight slant of her lips. Could those eyes get any bigger? But no way was she getting out of this no matter how cute she got.

"That night on the beach when I told you I was going to leave him, you were going to say that you thought the two of us were going to get married. You knew all along that he was going to propose!" I was so enraged that I narrowly avoided hitting a rather large tree with Alice's tactfulness.

"What, and ruin the surprise?"

"_Surprise? _Alice, seriously? That was a nightmare! You could have given me a bit of a heads up."

"It wouldn't have been fair to Edward. He deserved at least the chance to make things right and then, if he chose to, propose."

I looked at her sideways, unbelieving what I was hearing. "But you _did _know he'd ask me."

"It simply wasn't my place to interfere. I'm sorry that things didn't go too smoothly but at least it's over with now. He's out of your hair! Isn't that what you wanted?"

"You could have told me, that's all." I grumbled, turning sharply off the road and onto another path I hadn't been down before, not really paying attention.

"My power is... strange. It changes. Sometimes I don't feel like I have a grasp on it at all. You have to understand that I saw many possibilities. One where you accepted gladly."

I cringed.

"One where he decided not to ask at all. A future where _he _broke off the relationship."

I slowed down the car, considering this.

"I wasn't sure which future it would be, but I hope you're okay?" She reached out for my hand and I sighed, slumping into my seat.

"I'm sorry I was mad. It was just pretty nuts in there..."

"I'll say!" she laughed. "Fantastic timing on my part, don't you think? I didn't even have a vision of having to rescue you."

I had to laugh at that. "Yeah, you saved me big time."

"So... It's like you owe me a favor now..."

I groaned. "You haven't cleaned out the shops by now?"

"Well, actually, I was considering another little favor," she reached over and strapped on my seat belt for me. That strange tropical scent hit me and I felt disillusioned for moment.

"You might veer sharply left in the next three seconds and hit the breaks."

I sat bolt upright as I saw the approaching drop off, following her instructions not a second too soon. I gave a short yelp as I felt the ancient car swerve, the back passenger tire hanging dangerously off the edge. A nest of birds flew off in alarm as I realized the tree which they called home was the only thing keeping us from plummeting to our-my-death. As usual, I was still in shock as Alice calmly dealt with the situation. When I finally regained my wits I unstrapped my seatbelt and joined her outside.

"Bella, would you be so kind," she was pointing to a rock about the size of a basketball and I went to retrieve it for her. I saw that she was now not only propping up the car, but the tree as well. Its trunk was cracked and the truck was leaning. She smiled and accepted the rock, shoving it under the back tire that had been hanging off the ledge. That gave the vehicle enough balance to stay put while she righted the tree as much as she could. Just like Alice. For one thing Edward wouldn't have given me the chance to save myself, just take the wheel and veer in time himself. For another, he wouldn't have given a damn about any little tree. I admit I was mostly concerned for my truck after I knew that we were safe, but it was a nice gesture. Edward probably would have just picked up the car and carried it out of the way too. Alice liked working through problems with logic more than her superhuman brawn, and she wasn't in your face about it either. She dusted off her skirt and sighed contently. It was the first time that day I'd actually looked at her. She was wearing one of the outfits I'd picked out for her. I remembered her pleased smile when I brought it to her, hangers up and down my arms with the clothes she'd picked for me. After that I'd been so wrapped up in my Edward problems that I hadn't noticed she'd bought it. I hoped I hadn't been blinded too much by my relationship issues that I failed to be a good friend to her. She'd understand of course, but I still knew I should spend more time with her than I was.

"Thanks," I told her. She thought it was just for saving my truck, but it was for a lot of things.

We hid out a few miles away from the school by a river my dad would catch salmon in sometimes. I started to think of how much I'd changed over the past year. Moving here, reconnecting with my dad, adjusting to the small town life. Then meeting Edward and his shocking circumstances. I'd fallen too fast for the wrong reasons. Infatuation was not something I'd experienced before, but neither was love. It was hard for me to tell the difference. Maybe I was wrong and that's all love was. If so, I didn't feel like I was missing a whole lot. My own parents couldn't make it last. They'd married too early, had me then split. I didn't want that to ever happen to me or someone I might love. I'd been in love with the idea of good vampires, with the Cullens being my family. With belonging somewhere.

Alice was flowing from rock to rock amongst the rapids, blue skirt like a wave itself. I still had the Cullens, I still had her. She thought she'd been being too bold by expressing her true thoughts toward Edward and my dead relationship with him. To be honest, I wished she'd said something earlier. I didn't quite know what yet, but I was beginning to change again. And I liked it. I got a chill as I finally let myself relax into the change, understanding that it wasn't only life that got to make it. I felt able to decide my paths and take on my own battles. I glanced at Alice, spinning ballerina style as the gold sun set around her, face the embodiment of happiness.

Living proof that a little optimism never hurt.

**A/N: Sorry for the title. What? I like Bowie. :P Please review anyway. Where do you think the story is going? How's Edward going to react? Stay tuned. Oh and... *insert guilty advertising here* check out my jewelry shop if you have some spare time? Thanks lovies! No spaces: aeroglow . etsy . com **


	8. Distress Call

_...a few months in the future..._

Edward.

I know there's no way you'll be able to forgive me for what I've done, but please don't blame Bella. I don't know what will happen or when I'll see any of you again, but if you get this message, if you can find it in your heart, please send help. I don't know if anything can even be done, maybe I'm too far gone... You're my last hope now.

All my love to the family,

_Alice_

Oh, and Biloxi is beautiful by the way.

**A/N: Just a little foreshadowing for you. No, you are not supposed to know what's going on yet. In due time. Thanks for the wonderful reviews, keep it up. :) I'll update soon.**


	9. Genre

**A/N: A nice long chapter to balance out the painfully short one. I was going to cut it up into two chapters, but figured it would flow better this way. Let me know what you think and if the story needs anything. Suggest anything you like. Thanks!**

**Chapter Nine**

I don't know why I felt so compelled to talk to my dad about the breakup. Usually he was the last person I'd talk to about something like that, but I'd realized with a bit of surprise that Edward had taken over my entire social life outside of Alice, and that was probably doing so well because the two of them lived in the same house. If I went over, I'd see her, and of course we shared classes. But the biggest part that got to me was discovering that, now that he was out of my thoughts, I hadn't spent any real time with Charlie for a long time. We'd never been extremely close, but we each knew where the other one stood and trusted each other maybe more than most teenagers. He wasn't bad at giving advice when he wanted to.

He got home at his normal time and I had dinner waiting. He was in a particularly good mood so I plunged.

"Dad, what was your first breakup like?"

His paused mid bite for a moment, trying to decide if he should answer or close his open mouth around the chunk of rice. I could tell it was a real dilemma for him which made me want to laugh. He set down his fork and leaned back in his chair.

"Did that boy break up with you?" I couldn't tell if it was real hope on his face or if he was trying to tease me. He knew Edward's name over a year now but still insisted on 'boy' or 'kid'. Something I found amusing now but annoyed me before.

"No, I did."

He nodded, seeming to approve. "I was about your age. High school."

"Was it mom?"

"No, but we were friends then. We started dating a week or so after another girl dumped me."

"Wow, a whole week?" I laughed.

He shrugged. "It was hight school."

"Right... So how did she do it?"

"She had one of her friends tell me. Couldn't do it herself."

Ouch. Maybe my method wasn't so bad after all.

"Were you okay though? I mean, I know you moved on quickly but, really how badly did it hurt?"

"Oh, it stung pretty bad for a while, even while I was dating Renee, but they say time heals all. I hadn't thought about her, the other girl, for years. I think her name was Melinda... Matilda... something like that."

I nodded. "Can I ask why it didn't work out?"

"Like I said, it was high school. It's the time for mistakes. To find out what kind of person you want to be with, but it's definitely not a time to settle down..." he trailed off, probably thinking of how things didn't work out with Mom. "Sometimes two people just don't _click_, you know?"

"I do."

I admit I was feeling a little guilty about Edward. I hadn't exactly ended things well. I'd run away and then hid from him. He'd left messages that I hadn't returned. I had to talk with him eventually, so he could start moving on. It was selfish of me to delay that for him, and probably pretty painful. But surely he'd been dumped before, he could handle it... couldn't he? I liked what my dad had said about it just being high school. I might not have been a vampire, but I knew that my life had really just started. I was about to graduate. Who knew what I'd become or where I might go? In my own way I had forever. Thinking of all the possibilities without Edward to add in to the equation made me relax and at the same time get excited in a way I had forgotten. Maybe in a few years Edward would be trying to recall our relationship:

"I think her name was Stella... or something like that."

I probably would never forget him because, after all, he was the first vampire I'd met, but I knew the memories themselves would fade. Somehow I could predict I wouldn't be too disappointed. We finished our meal and talked a little more. It was great to just spend an evening at home not solely dedicated to homework. Most days I was with Edward, and a lot of nights too. Maybe I'd finally get to catch up on some sleep, or reading. God, I hadn't read for pleasure in months. My hobby had become shopping with Alice, and though it was always fun, I did miss curling up with a good book. I could think of a few I hadn't read more than four times and after cleaning up the kitchen and Charlie had settled down with a game to watch, I went up to my room.

I was beginning to grow happier. It had only been a day and already I felt the weight lifting off my shoulders. I felt proud, independent, strong. I knew what I'd needed and I made sure it happened. Edward loved me enough to see that it was for the best, surely. I buoyantly headed up the stairs and into my room, moving straight for the bookshelf. I'd been so into all those tragic romances, where everyone ends up with the wrong person for money or security, or because they couldn't do any better. Or worse, they ended up dead. Romeo and Juliet supposedly fell in love after two seconds of seeing each other, getting married the next day or something. _That's _realistic. Heathcliff was just a spiteful, insecure prick, not to mention Mr. Darcey. I glared at _Gone with the Wind _and the other books I used to treasure. Now I wanted some adventure, some mystery. One where the protagonist didn't need anyone but themselves to live a fulfilling life. My fingers lingered from book to book for a moment before pulling out one I'd bought years ago but had never read. Some ridiculous science fiction book set in the future with teleports and aliens, mad scientists and, to my relief, no vampires. It looked fun enough, so I pulled it down and went to go sit on my bed, only to find the window open. Further examination told me that the lock had been forced. Damn. The thing probably wouldn't even shut now.

"Hey, Alice," I greeted her, not even bothering to look for her vague shadow. She was probably just bringing me another little article of clothing. "You could have waited till I got up here or, I don't know, used the _door. _But you probably heard us having dinner. Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long. How's Edward been doing by the way?"

"He's been better," came a whisper that definitely didn't belong to Alice. I spun around to find Edward leaning, arms crossed, against my book shelf. He'd been right there and I hadn't even noticed. I admit it freaked me out a little. It reminded me of the first time I caught him watching me sleep. The room seemed to get colder and I found myself at a loss for words. The next minute passed with me using just about as much air as he was. Not a lot. He jerked himself away smoothly from the shelf and looked me up and down the way a jealous girl might look at a super model-which felt very strange for me. He stopped about a foot away from me, eyes colorless in the dark. I wanted to reach for my lamp but realized that I didn't really want to see him clearly right now. Maybe it was better that way. Sometimes things were better left in the dark.

"Sorry to disappoint you." He meant about me thinking he'd been Alice. At least his voice was calm. I honestly had no idea what to expect. I found myself wishing not for the first time that I had her gift of foresight.

"I came to ask if you'd sign my yearbook." He held up the glossy cover which had a picture of Forks High on it. _Go Spartans! _When my hands would not accept the heavy volume, he let it drop to his side. "You could put something memorable like 'I'm sorry it didn't work out' or 'let's still be friends." He was really hurt. I should have said something, I should have known what to do.

"How about," His tone grew more sarcastic still as he made an exaggerated writing motion with his hand, the invisible pen clutched hard between his fingers. "Thanks for not eating me, Cullen. How about pissing off now?"

"Edward..." Was that even a whisper?

"Bella." His head tilted to the side expectantly. There was about as much warmth in his voice as there was in his skin. I inhaled deeply, realizing how little I'd been breathing, trying to exhale as unnoticeably as possible. Apparently he still noticed.

"You know your scent used to be so intriguing to me, so incredibly sacred. But now that you obviously don't find me attractive, it's only tantalizing. Tempting, but not dangerously so." Well that was good.

"Without that danger, the risk of losing something I love, and that loves me, it's really quite..." he shrugged. "Boring."

Maybe not so good after all.

He was working something out in his head, calculating. He moved closer. My legs were pressed against the edge of the bed already, so I didn't move.

"Like a regular, dull," he stepped closer still. "Normal... average..." I found that I couldn't look away from him. His hand lifted and set down the yearbook on my nightstand. "Hunt."

Did he just say hunt? No, of course not. That was ridiculous. _Runt_. A regular, average runt.

Our fronts were touching, I couldn't help my rapid heartbeat.

Yeah. He definitely didn't say runt. My lame attempt at blocking out his words failed, I did the first thing I could think of that involved action without running away. Squeezing my eyes shut I flung my arms around his torso and hugged him. An equally lame attempt it seemed. He pushed me away from him with a sigh of disgust, sending me among the blankets of my unmade bed. I sat up quickly but he'd swerved around me, holding on from behind, his back resting against the broken window. He held me locked like that for a minute before continuing.

"You know, long before I met you, I used to kill humans. I'd read their thoughts and find out if they were good people or not. The good ones I never laid a finger on. The bad ones weren't so lucky." His grip wasn't painful. I could probably even wiggle out of it if I needed to. It was a strong suggestion for me to stay put. Still, it intimidated me.

"What do you think it means that I can't read your thoughts at all?"

_ I wish you could, _I though. It probably would have made things easier from the beginning.

"Hm? What could that possibly mean?"

I could only shrug, my voice still refusing to work properly.

"At first I thought it was so we could trust each other equally. That I couldn't read your thoughts because we were meant to be together. It contributed to my fascination with you. I liked the idea of having a quiet refuge in another person. But after a while it became... difficult."

His head was resting on my shoulder, words spoken to my back. "So what does that make you, Bella? After all my frustration with not being able to understand, my struggle with trying to keep up with your radical moods. Your refusal of a life of comfort and love, protection. Who is to blame here?"

Maybe he was gripping a little harder now. I wondered if he even realized.

"Isabella," he said more loudly, the way one of my parents might yell at me if I slipped up as a child. "What does that make _you?_ Good or bad?"

"It's..." I tried. I felt my pulse in my forehead, my hands were sweaty. "It's not always so black and white. Some-sometimes there are grey areas. People aren't just _all _good or bad."

"You seem to think differently about me." His voice was in my ear again. My arms were beginning to tingle.

"No-"

"And also: what is it about me that warded you off so quickly? Am I not attractive enough? Not smart enough? What is it about me that isn't good enough for you?" He shook me on the word 'good' and again I found myself fumbling with words.

"Nothing. It's not like that. We're just too different. We're not..."

"We're not what?"

"We don't _click!" _Repeating my father's words shot me back to our conversation, which made me realize that Charlie was just downstairs. He was no match for Edward, but he'd be long gone before Charlie reached my room. Edward might try to scare me, but he wouldn't mess with the chief of police. I shoved his arms aside, a little surprised when he didn't simply hold onto me. He was never going to hurt me. I knew that, but it was hard not to get a little worried. I stood and straightened my clothes. Edward remained slumped on my bed like the heap of blankets.

"I'm _am _sorry we didn't work out, Edward. I did love you. I will never regret meeting you. But we tried our best and it didn't work."

"It _is _working! We can still fix it. We just need to work harder."

"It's not about working more or harder. At this point it's like trying to fix a-" I couldn't think of anything and the broken window was right in front of me. Lame analogy, but it would get the point across. "a broken window. You can't repair it if you didn't have all the pieces to begin with.... Do you see what I mean? We fell in love for the wrong reasons."

"Perhaps you did-"

"Why do you love me then? How did you fall in love with me?"

He hesitated. "Because you were beautiful..." his expression changed and he moved off of the bed and stood next to me. "_Are_ beautiful."

"You fell in love with me because of my scent and that I was the only person, vampire or otherwise, whose mind you couldn't read."

"That's not true."

"It _is _true. You know it's true, Edward. You practically just said it yourself." I could feel a migraine coming on. "You were interested in me until not being able to read my thoughts became inconvenient. 'Difficult' is the word you used."

"I didn't-"

"You liked the thrill of forbidden love. I'll admit it, so did I. But after a while it just gets down to personality types and ours don't match."

He studied me for a second. He seemed to get that I wasn't afraid of him, that I never really had been. He was all bluster when it came down to it. Still, he persisted.

"I can change."

I tried not to, but I scoffed.

"People don't change, Edward. I waited too long hoping I was wrong, but I'm clearly not."

"I just need help then." He took my hand and drew me closer to him, wrapping his arms around me. "I know if we get married we'll be able to work together, fix things."

"Marriage isn't some magic fix-all. In fact, quite the opposite. If we can't live with each other _now,_ then there's no way we'll make it as a married couple." He clearly didn't hear me. Just held me more tightly.

"You could come and live with us, with your family. Or we could travel." He was stroking my hair. It felt like he was trying to cling on to the last shreds of us. I felt bad brandishing the scissors that were doing the shredding. But I knew I'd feel even worse if I didn't suck it up and end it.

"Edward," I pulled away from him gently. I looked him in the eye. I couldn't quite read his expression, but it was still somewhere between anger and denial, with a deep sadness behind it. "I can't change you, and you can't make me love you. And we shouldn't have to try. Edward, you deserve someone better, someone less sensitive than me maybe. You-"

"You deserve the world. I just want to give you everything, keep you safe..."

"I know. And you've already given me so much. You've protected me from some really dangerous situations. You'll always be dear to me for that..."

"But you do not love me." He nodded. Was he finally getting it?

Just then my father called up. "Bells? Is someone with you?" I glanced at Edward. His words seemed to have a double meaning I knew Edward would understand. I answered them both simultaneously.

"No."

We heard footsteps on the stairs. His last embrace was quick but worthwhile. Our final kiss made me remember all the good times we'd spent together instead of the bad. I kissed him back, knowing he knew it was for the last time. And with a final crooked smile from the vampire who was my first love, he was gone.

I realized, after all that, I was still holding the damn sci-fi novel I'd wanted to read. I stifled a laugh that quickly turned into a sob. I hadn't wanted to do that. I never knew breaking up with someone would be so hard. I knew I was 'out of love' with him, but I did still care for him. He knew that, I thought. I hoped. The last thing I wanted was him thinking I hated him.

I'd wanted so badly to be in love with Edward Cullen. But now that he was gone-I'd later find out that he left that same night without word of where he was going-I realized it had been like he'd never existed at all. Like that year of him added up to nothing but waisted air. But I knew I was better for it. I'd learned a little more about myself and the type of person I wanted to be with. I learned that just because I was human I was not necessarily weak. I could handle myself even if I couldn't run great distances or read minds. I was still good. I could still find someone I clicked with, who'd love me even more than Edward's well meaning heart. I knew this. I was ready to move forward into a new chapter of my life. I glanced at the tragic romance novels on my shelf.

Maybe a new genre.

**A/N: Please review!!**


	10. Fairy Dust

**Chapter Ten**

The drama crew was in a frenzy adding the finishing touches to the upcoming production, and I admit I was beginning to feel very excited for it. The enchantment of Neverland was springing to life before my eyes; Indians, lost boys, a ticking crocodile, and of course pirates running around rehearsing and setting up. I had my hands full with studying for exams, trying to help with the crew, and memorizing the lines I'd never speak as an understudy. Alice grinned at me from where she was having her costumes fitted. I never saw her practice her lines once, but somehow I knew she'd already memorized them. Tiger Lilly asked if I could help Smee and Nibs with stage directions while she squabbled with John Darling about his small role. Tinker Bell was asleep backstage.

I stepped out to use the bathroom, really just needing a breather. It was a mad house in there, even if it was the fun sort. I splashed some water on my face to wake myself up, combed through my hair with my fingers in attempt to extract some fairy dust-sequins and gold glitter. I heard the door open, Cassidy's voice greeting me. She was a techie like me and an acquaintance. Short blond hair and grey eyes, a little taller than me.

"So how do you like it all?" she asked sweetly, setting down her purse on one of the sinks. "Drama class. I imagine it's pretty difficult to get into your senior year. Most of us have been in it since middle school."

I shrugged and smiled. "I actually really like it."

"You seem surprised." She took a thin tube from her purse and began applying mascara.

"Well, let's just say I've never really been the outgoing type. A friend talked me into it."

"Alice?"

"Yeah."

"How sweet of her. You two are pretty close?"

"Yeah, she's my best friend."

She paused for a moment, putting away the tube and applying a sparkly lip gloss. I leaned against one of the sinks.

"Is that all?"

"What do you mean?"

She raised an eyebrow at me. "You know what I mean."

I shrugged slowly. "No, not really." I laughed.

"You two aren't... together?"

It took me a second to understand her definition of 'together'.

"Oh! No way. No, we're friends. It's not like that." I could tell without looking in the mirror that I was blushing.

"Sorry to pry," Cassidy apologized.

"Don't be. It's fine."

"But you're not interested or anything?" She flipped back her fluffy hair.

I looked at her for a moment, trying to read her intent.

"No. I don't really... I mean, I like guys." I nodded as if it helped prove my point.

"I see. It's just you two are always so... never mind." she shook her head and laughed a little, closing her purse.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Bella, you must think I'm-"

"No, seriously, I don't mind." I urged her to continue.

"Well, sometimes I see you-and I could be totally wrong-" she lifted her hands in a disclaimer "looking at other girls."

"...You do."

"But don't worry. No one else notices. I think it's just something another bisexual would pick up, you know?" There was a question in her storm grey eyes.

"I wouldn't know," I told her. I had no idea how to handle this kind of conversation. I knew she was just curious, she didn't mean any harm. "I just broke up with my boyfriend."

"Sorry to hear that." She was. I could tell. "So you're not then?"

"Bisexual?"

She nodded.

How to answer that? To be honest, I had no idea. I suppose yes, I had noticed a certain quality in women I liked, but wasn't that normal? Didn't everyone regard the female form to be the more attractive? I'd never had a girlfriend or really ever questioned my sexual orientation before. If I was bi or a lesbian, surely I'd know by now.

"No, I'm not." I decided.

She smiled again. "I hope I haven't offended you by being so forward. I just wondered."

"It's okay. But you are then? Bi?"

"Yes." she grinned. I hesitated for a moment.

"Is it.... I mean... Isn't being with another girl weird? If I can ask." She studied the two of us in the mirror for a moment, smiling slightly.

"I guess it depends. For me it never was. I've known since I was little. Girls are a little easier to get along with because I am one myself, but I do like guys too."

"But don't you have to choose one way or another? I mean," I shrugged lamely. I felt awkward asking her all of this. I could tell she was a pretty open person, but I hoped I wasn't getting too personal.

"Nope. I just love everyone. I like personalities, not a specific gender."

I nodded. "That's cool." Suddenly something I'd never thought of was starting to sound pretty interesting. Even if it didn't apply to me.

"How did you know? That you were... bi."

"On a field trip in elementary school a friend of mine and I kissed just to see what it was like. I think we'd snuck away from our class in a museum or something. She quickly forgot about it, but that's when I knew. Hey, I've gotta get back," she smiled, "but if you ever want to know more..."

"Thanks." I felt I should say something else but couldn't think of anything. The conversation had caught me off guard, but I wasn't entirely off balance from it. The lifestyle-is that what it was called?-did sound pretty interesting, even if it wasn't for me. I'd already proven I liked guys with Edward, even if it didn't exactly go well. But still, I definitely wasn't gay. I felt uncertain putting everything in such defining categories. How could I know? I never kissed a girl when I was little just to see. The thought had barely occurred to me before... Had I looked at girls like Cassidy said? Was that bad? Was it something all girls did, or did it mean I was bisexual? I wasn't prepared to sit down and work out all these questions, nor did I have the time. I was needed in class.

"Bella!" Alice chirped, floating over to me from her perch on the stage, silky fabric following her. She spun around me like a little sprite, showering me with fairy dust. I flicked some off of my shoulder but couldn't help smiling.

"Hey, Alice. The costumes are looking good. It doesn't exactly look like something Peter would wear but it looks great on you."

"No, it's one of the fairies' dresses. I'm the only one short enough to be a mannequin at the moment."

"Well, you wear it well, fairy or lost boy. Though personally you've always seemed more like a little pixie to me."

She rolled her eyes, but giggled. "So I've heard."

A few people were carrying in parts of the freshly painted pirate ship. Alice and I backed away to give them more room. The drama room wasn't exactly huge, but it could pass as a decent theater. And soon it would, with my best friend as the leading lady... boy... role. Even if it were just her up on that stage, no lights or set, she'd singlehandedly be able to wow the audience.

"This weekend there's that new movie coming out," she said.

"Oh yeah?" I had no idea which movie she was referring to, but I sensed an invitation.

"Cassidy's treat."

I unintentionally lost my smile. "Cassidy invited you? Just now?"

"Yeah, you want to come with? It's going to be a blast."

It was hard to decipher exactly what I was feeling at that moment. Another girl was interested... _romantically _in my best friend. How was I supposed to feel about that? How _did_ I feel about it? Of course there was nothing to worry about because Alice wasn't like that. What did I mean by 'nothing to worry about?' What could I possibly be worried about? And why would I care if Alice was or wasn't that way?

Unfortunately, all of this thinking was crammed into about half a second and the words which I was going to reply with tripped over each other and came out as more of a pained utterance than actual words.

"Great!" We'll come get you." She was spinning about merrily again, making me dizzy.

"But, Alice, I-"

"Hey guys." Cassidy.

Alice smiled and gave her a brief hug. As they talked about something and I nodded vaguely when they looked at me, I began to wonder what my quickened breathing and sweaty palms meant. That suddenly I did not find Cassidy so welcome, though I had no reason for it. She'd asked me in the bathroom if I was interested in Alice and I had truthfully said no.

But I had the unpleasant feeling I had not uncovered the entire truth yet.

**A/N: Been chipping away at this chapter for weeks, finally uploading it. Let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions. I love to hear your feedback :D**


	11. Renée to the Rescue

**Chapter Eleven**

I was having one of those days where I can't do or focus on anything because I'm thinking about something else too deeply. I'd come to the conclusion that I had nothing to worry about as far as Cassidy was concerned. She was a kind person and I couldn't blame her for being attracted to my best friend. I would be too if I were... Anyway, I should be happy for them. Besides, there was no way to tell if they were even going to hit it off, or of Alice even liked girls or not. If she didn't, would she make an acceptation for Cassidy? With her shiny hair and gorgeous eyes, her poise and sensitivity. I wouldn't blame Alice if she liked this girl more. But that was silly. Alice wasn't about one friend over another. There was nothing to worry about.

Charlie made breakfast, almost as much of a surprise as how good it was. Or rather, not burnt. I spent the morning with him, again marveling at how nice it was to take it easy instead of running around with Edward. I wondered where he was or if he'd called the Cullens since his sudden departure. I somehow doubted it. If I knew Edward he was probably hundreds of miles away brooding in some dark, desolate place. As long as he was okay.

I'd forgotten I had some laundry to do so was at a loss of what to wear. There was no way I could wash a load before it was time to go. It was too cold still for shorts, or tank tops, which was pretty much all that was available in my closet. I searched my drawers, but surfaced with nothing. Then an idea came to me. It was a thin chance but I'd give it a try nonetheless. I'd only been up to the attic a couple of times. The last time Charlie had to help me with the pull down latter. I climbed up the splintery planks, emerging into the dust laden room. It would have been a pretty cool place if it were cleaned out and given a little TLC. I searched until, in the far corner by the window, I found some old Victorian style hat boxes with my mom's clothes in them. I'd told her they were up here and we could ship them if she wanted, but she quickly changed the subject, uninterested. Who knew, if they weren't completely moth eaten or outdated, they could help me out today, if they too didn't need laundering. I sat on one of the boxes while I opened another, praying a little critter didn't crawl out. To my surprise, the clothes were wrapped in several plastic bags and looked perfectly well preserved. I took some time going through them, unlocking a piece of my mother's history. There was everything from elegant to casual-Alice would be proud. I tried on a couple outfits, but the jeans didn't fit me right and looked a little funky. Eventually it was down to a few dresses. Ugh. What choice did I have? I pulled one on, avoiding the stare of an antique mirror I'd freed of cobwebs. The fabric was coarse but light, a shade of baby blue I'd always loved. It tied in the back with a ribbon which I had some difficulty with. I ventured a glance in the mirror. To my astonishment, it didn't look half bad. It fit perfectly and had that kind of retro look that was in these days, according to Alice. I still would feel ridiculous wearing a dress, but it was my last chance. I wore some legging type things Alice had gotten me. They'd help me stay warm. I was beginning to feel overly out of my realm when I tried to pick out shoes for it. I automatically grabbed my usual sneakers but then realized that probably wasn't the right combination. Thankfully Alice apparently had thought of everything. I unpackaged a pair of flats I'd never worn before, glad that they weren't too uncomfortable. I also found some earrings in the dress pocket. I assumed they were supposed to go with the ensemble so put those on as well. Lastly, hair. I threw it up in what was probably too messy of a bun. I wasn't really used to doing my hair. Usually Alice did it if she was feeling so inclined.

The doorbell sounded. Charlie called up to me.

Already? A glance at the clock told me that I'd taken much longer to get ready than I'd thought. I glanced one more time in the bathroom mirror, feeling worse about my appearance by the second, grabbed my jacket and purse, and headed downstairs.

I didn't miss the look of shock spread across my dad's face.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, I know. It looks awful. Don't make fun."

"You look just like... you look great." His tone changed from impressed to demanding. "You're just going with your friends right? No boys?"

"Nope, no boys, dad."

He still looked suspicious.

I gave him a brief hug. "Back by eleven."

"...You're sure there are no boys going?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I'm sure-"

"Don't worry, Chief Swan."

Alice! I felt joyful and apprehensive at the same time. At any moment she'd bust up laughing about my attempted outfit. My mom's ancient wardrobe? What was I thinking?

"I'll personally see to it that no boy so much as glances at your daughter," she sang. She on the other hand looked stunning as usual, wearing simple capris and an Oxford shirt with a petite fashion vest of some sort.

Charlie mumbled something then went back to watch TV, waving to us hesitantly.

"Well, well," Alice said, turning her attention to me. "Perhaps those fashion tips have finally sunk in."

I blushed. "You mean it doesn't look like I just walked out of a thrift store?"

She laughed loudly, coming over to inspect me more thoroughly. She took my hand and gestured that I spin for her, which I did tentatively. I could feel my cheeks burning. When I was finished I stared at my new shoes awkwardly. She felt the fabric of the dress, retied the ribbon sash, her cool fingers feeling soothing on my waist. I could smell her familiarly tropical scent as her breath brushed across my neck. "...I ran out of clean clothes."

"Well of course you did," she scoffed. "Like you'd willingly turn to well established fashion. But it's a start."

"It is? It doesn't look horrible?"

"How _cute_," came an unexpected voice. Cassidy was standing in my hallway. I admit I'd forgotten she was coming for a moment. I tried not to look too disappointed. "And those earrings," she came over and brushed a piece of my hair aside. "Adorable."

Alice was adjusting my hair but I was beginning to relax into my mom's clothes. If Alice approved then I knew it looked okay. Cassidy looked great as always, but I knew if I noticed too much I'd probably lose my temporary confidence boost.

"Shall we be off?" Alice smiled, her hands moving from my hair to my shoulders. I nodded and Cassidy walked to the door.

"Bye Chief Swan," Alice called. Charlie waved in return, with a bit more assurance. Guided by Alice's arm, I followed out to her car. I automatically reached for the passenger's door but then thought better of it. This was Cassidy's date. The polite thing to do would be to sit in back. But when I reached for that handle, Cassidy insisted I take the front.

"No, you go ahead." I smiled.

"No, you. I like the back more... roomier."

"But my dress... um, it needs more room." How on earth that was a convincing argument I had no idea. But Cassidy shrugged and sat in the front seat next to Alice who I could have sworn was hiding a grin. We listened to whatever Cassidy wanted on the radio, Alice being courteous and myself not having any clue what any of the stations were. I found myself silent most of the drive, listening to the two of them joke and share stories. I watched the woods slowly melt into industry; buildings and parks springing up instead of the thick trees. I barely noticed when we'd stopped and Alice came around to open our doors for us. I smoothed out my dress and put on my jacket, getting my money ready as we walked.

"It's already taken care of," Cassidy beamed. Oh yeah. Cassidy's treat. I thanked her, closing the little bag.

"This is going to be so _fun," _Alice danced around, bringing the two of us with her. Cassidy giggled, following suit. It was all I could do to keep from looking completely disgusted. We were practically frolicking through the theater parking lot. I was wearing a dress. It was all just a little too girly for me. Still, for their sake I grinned and tried to look amused.

It didn't slip past my notice how long it took the ticket guy to rip our tickets. When we finally got past him the two of them couldn't keep from laughing.

"Maybe it's not such a good idea for you to go out in public like this, Bella," Alice teased.

"Yeah, you probably gave that poor guy a heart attack."

"Oh please, he was clearly staring at you two." I rolled my eyes.

"Well, maybe Alice too." Cassidy winked. Alice shrugged coyly, allowing Cassidy to wrap her arm around Alice's shoulders. _Here it goes,_ I thought. _And we haven't even made it inside the theater yet. _

**A/N: _Please review_****! :)**


	12. The Vampire Girls

**Thanks to WaLe for reminding me I have a story to write! I've been working on original work lately, a book as a matter of fact which has been eating up all extra time. I'll try to bounce back in forth between projects as best I can. Enjoy dears, please forgive my absence. **

There was nothing in the movie to keep my attention. I couldn't even tell you the basic plot let alone the names of the overly dramatic characters. The only show I was watching was the slow progression of flirtation being exchanged in the seats next to me. I bit my lip as their hands slowly met, eyes still set on the screen. I heard a giggle and Cassidy's voice commenting on the frigidness of Alice's fingers. Alice whispered something followed by more giggling. I unconsciously bit down harder on my lip, trying desperately to block out the sounds of shifting bodies and quiet laughter. I finally realized I was bleeding when I heard a pause, guessing that Alice had stiffened. The last thing I heard was Cassidy asking her what was wrong before I bolted for the exit. It took me a minute to find the bathroom but was relieved when I did. The cut wasn't bad, but there was more than enough blood to get Alice's attention. I could have potentially ruined everything. Their date which I was clearly the third wheal to, their not so subtle flirting... I could _accidentally_ ruin it all. _Easy, Bella, _I told myself. _They're your friends. You should be happy for them, not jealous._ But I wasn't really jealous, was I? I cleaned up the blood with some paper towels, washing my face while I was at it. I had forgotten about my new attire and once again felt like someone else was glaring back at me in the glass. I sucked on the cut until the bleeding stopped, trying to come up with another excuse to not return to the theater.

A woman and her child walked in. The kid, who couldn't be more than four years old, explaining something of great mumbled importance through bites of buttery popcorn. That's it! A distraction. I knew I was getting overly excited, but I just couldn't bring myself to return to Cassidy's flirtatious laughter. As I left the bathroom I couldn't help but wonder what Cassidy smelled like to Alice. I'd been told my blood was extremely tempting, more so than other humans. Edward said he found it both alluring and torturous to be around. It was probably seriously wrong of me, but the idea of another person having that affect on Alice bothered me. I got in line at the snack bar. Not that I liked being in constant danger, but I guess I'd gotten used to being the 'vampire girl.' Two's a crowd, so they say. It felt too weird to be the exception to the rule for so long only to have someone else learn of the Cullen's secret.

The line moved too quickly and I made sure to take my time paying. But it was in vain. Her shiny blonde head popped out from nowhere, almost making me fling the popcorn in the air in a failed escape attempt. Cassidy apologized, asking if I needed any help.

"No thanks, there was just a long line."

"It was really sweet of you to get this for us."

"No problem. My pleasure."

A pause. We continued grinning at each other awkwardly. At least it was awkward for me, though I still wasn't completely sure why yet. I hated being unsure in awkward situations.

"Right, uh, shall we go back?" she suggested perkily. Perkiness. Was that why Alice liked her? Was I too downbeat? Again, not that I cared.

"Sure." We walked at least two feet apart all the way back to the movie, both of us with plastered grins on our faces. My cheeks hurt by the time we reached our seats. Before Cassidy had settled in Alice leaned over to me.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine. Yes. Great."

"You're such a bad liar."

"I bit my lip. Sorry."

The laugh she gave was one I'd only heard once before. It was when she'd tricked Rosalie out of a bet of some kind, though I couldn't remember the details. My stomach sank as I realized I'd found it just as sexy then as I did now.

Hold up. I did _not _just refer to Alice as sexy.

"Well that's just wonderful," I said out loud, abashed. I pointed to the screen where conveniently the newly reunited couple were sharing in a triumphant kiss. The two nodded and smiled. My heart sank as their hands clasped.

I was completely, thoroughly jealous.

**Please review? ^__^**


	13. Defrost

**Aha! For me 5 days between updates isn't bad. ^^ I finally had a chance today to sit down and simply write this out, hope you like it... I'll admit I do. ;)**

**Chapter Thirteen**

After the stress of the movie was finally at an end we grabbed some Mexican food. Alice of course didn't eat but I had quite enough for the both of us. Cassidy explained she was on a diet and munched on a taco salad that probably had as much fat as my burrito. Knowing Alice we weren't going to leave town without stopping by at a few shops and Cassidy unfortunately was right along with her. I hadn't realized how much I'd grown to like shopping until it wasn't just Alice and I. Moreover Cassidy was good at it. She knew what garments went together and wore anything well. It annoyed me how she kept picking out the skimpiest things you could barely call clothes. Not just for herself, but Alice too. I sat outside on the lonely bench while the sounds of giggles and zippers wafted over from the dressing room. I bit my nails and tried not to listen. This was the first time Alice hadn't doted over me, pulled me along, making sure I was thoroughly embarrassed but having fun. I felt like the spoiled and suddenly neglected child sulking on my own. The worst pat was I knew I deserved it.

"What do you think, Bella?" They sprang out as if from a pop up book sporting brightly colored bridesmaid and prom dresses which I barely glanced at.

"Charming as always, ladies," I managed in a monotone. "Alice, it's getting pretty late. I told Charlie I'd be back at eleven."

"So call him and tell him you'll be late," Cassidy suggested with a wink.

I smiled back, perhaps a little too cheekily, "I don't think so."

"I'm sure if you explain that we'll be a little late he'll understand," Alice reasoned.

I started to argue but swallowed my words. I didn't feel like arguing, especially with Alice.

"Ugh," Cassidy groaned. "I think that Mexican food is starting to get to me..."

I took a deep breath and walked to get some privacy. I took out my phone and dialed Charlie's number.

"Hey there, Bells. Everything okay?" he turned from the phone to yell something. I could hear a football game on and someone else's voice.

"Fine, Dad. Do you have company?"

"Yeah, Billy and some of the others are watching the game. It looks like it's going to go over so don't worry about-"

"One second, Dad." Alice was pulling at my sleeve.

"Cassidy is sick," she whispered urgently.

I groaned. "Seriously?" That was all I needed.

"Really bad. She can't be in a car right now or she'll just be worse."

"What do you suggest?"

"It looks like we're going to have to stay the night."

I froze. "Stay?"

"She's really sick, Bell."

I weighed my options, only seeing one. "Um, Dad, would it be okay if we got a room here and came back in the morning?"

"Why?" He was speaking in that tone he uses when his eyes are half glued to the TV.

"Cassidy, you met her today, is sick pretty bad. She can't be on the road."

"Well... Yeah, Billy, help yourself. Bella, the game's going to go over anyway and..." he paused for a moment. I could hear the goal made and the room filling with cheers. "Go ahead, Alice is with you right?  "Yep, still here."

"Okay then. But call in the morning and don't stay in one of those run down motels."

"We won't. Night, Dad. Enjoy the game."

"You too, Bella," he said distractedly. "Bye."

I would have rather been home watching the game of all things. I turned to find Alice motioning me to follow her. She was back in her own clothes. We went to the bathroom and found Cassidy in one of the stalls sitting on the floor.

"Don't come in, it's bad," she warned.

Alice quickly plugged her nose though I couldn't smell anything. Cassidy was still wearing one of the dresses.

"Why don't you hold her hair back while I go find some soda," I suggested though it was apparent Cassidy's hair wasn't long enough to get in the way.

"Soda?" Alice asked, puzzled.

"It might help her stomach." I was out the door before another word was said.

I went straight back to the store and payed for Cassidy's dress, which luckily was on sale. I bought her a 7 Up but didn't want to go back in. The idea of an entire night and morning with the happy new flirtatious couple almost made me sick too. I thought of calling my mom, just to hear her voice and maybe summon the courage to ask her for advice, but I didn't dare. I was a horrible liar and I couldn't risk having my true feelings come out especially when they were still so foreign to me. I sat down for a moment trying to gather my thoughts. Cassidy had asked me outright if I had romantic feelings toward my best friend and I had said no. So of course she had every right to make a move.. But I didn't expect to realize how close I actually felt to Alice and also how open she was. I wondered if Cassidy was her first girlfriend. She had lived over a century, giving her far more time to get to know herself and what she desired in others. Cassidy too already knew since she was little that she was bisexual. I'd only just found out today and was still pretty confused.

Back in the car Cassidy kept the window rolled down and I handed her the soda when she needed it. Alice parked at a palace not too far off from the theater in a square dotted with fountains and little expensive boutiques. It took me a second to realize _this _was where we'd be staying.

"Alice," I drew her aside. "We can't afford this."

"You should be used to this sort of thing by now," she smiled, helping Cassidy out of the car. "I'm not putting my friends up in some shabby sinkhole."

When we went inside and I saw how nice everything was and realized also how tired I was from the day I quickly let the matter drop. Cassidy spent the rest of the evening in the bathroom and we made her as comfortable as possible. I flipped on the TV and mindlessly searched through the infinite channels. Our room must have been a suite, what with its two queen sized beds, plush furnishings, complimentary mints, kitchenette, and free toothbrushes. I went to the living room area and sat on the couch, glad I had brought a book with me.

"You can't be serious," came a giggle from the other room. "What a nerd you are."

I glanced up for a moment to find her hanging off the large bed upside down, sinewy limbs stretched out in a satisfying stretch. I looked quickly back to the text.

"With all your infinite wisdom I have to catch up with you somehow don't I?"

"Perhaps but I did not attain my 'infinite wisdom' as you call it by sitting around reading."

"Oh? Then what did you do."

I did my best not to jump as I realized Alice was sitting next to me, crouched on the couch like a cat ready to spring.

"Experiment."

I caught my breath as she grinned wickedly, leaning over me and my shield of a book.

"Living. I swear sometimes it's like you're the one who's become the undead."

"Shh, Cassidy will hear you."

"Nonsense. Now put away the homework." She reached out her pale hand.

"It's not homework and I'm enjoying reading it. You're distracting me." I shooed her away with a gesture, pretending to ignore her.

"Oh," she feigned an apology. "Am I distracting you?" Her nimble fingers found their way between my ribs and started to tickle me. "Am I?"

I jerked away, not able to conceal my smile. She latched on though and in the struggle I lost my book. I shrieked with laughter despite myself.

"I'd hate so very _very_ much to distract you from your homework while we're in a hotel all to ourselves!" I slid off the couch, unable to catch my breath or my words as the attack continued.

"Al-Al-ice-_Al_-!" My face was turning hot and I could feel tears welling up as my stomach ached from laughter. She had consequentially rolled down with me and I didn't realize her face was so near mine until I felt something wet on my cheek. I slowed down my breathing, realizing that she had tasted one of my fallen tears. We froze, eyes meeting, catching ourselves in a moment that should have been painfully awkward but wasn't. We stayed like that for a moment longer before Alice took me by the hand and helped me up. Before I realized what had happened she pulled me into a hug.

She whispered, "I need to hunt tonight. Can you share a bed with Cassidy?"

I'll admit that wasn't exactly what I had expected to hear.

"Um... But she's sick, and you can't get sick can you? Can't you share with her?"

"I don't want to take any chances. I might wake her up accidentally and besides... I'm much more comfortable around you than her when it comes to, you know, blood."

I tried not to blush at her last words, knowing it was silly and I shouldn't read into it. "But you'd never wake her up in a million years, you're way too stealth... and-"

"With her being sick I can't very well freeze her to death too."

"But you don't even sleep. You don't actually need a bed," I countered.

"Cassidy doesn't know that. Suppose she were to wake up in the middle of the night and find me just sitting there in the dark. Please Bell? For everyone's sake? I don't do sleepovers well..."

How could I turn her down while her eyes were so big and amber as honey. I agreed.

Needless to say I didn't sleep well. Cassidy had showered and was feeling much better, she herself sleeping like a log. That is if a log sprouted legs and went on a wild kicking rampage. Was she doing karate in a dream or something? I groaned as finally the last inch of bed and covers I possessed were replaced with carpeted floor. Groggy, too asleep still to be completely pissed off, I went to the bathroom and returned, grateful to find the bed less raging. Maybe the dream of fighting off ninjas had finally subsided. I fell back asleep quickly but it wasn't to last long. With several months of Edward's icy body slipping under the covers with me it was hardly difficult to identify the reason I had woken back up. It still hadn't quite sunk in yet that I had gotten into the wrong bed until a chilly arm was wrapped around me, a hand softly stroking my hair. I, either by lack of will or sleep, did not move, allowing the soft fingers to caress my neck and cheek. More than half asleep, I rolled over and snuggled closer into the ice sculpture, gradually feeling it absorb my body heat. Strong, slender arms enveloped me along with a deep, beautiful sleep.

**Hehe. Thanks for reading. Please review! **


	14. Wanting You

With the morning came an intense comforting feeling. I was snuggled up tight in the hotel's fluffy blankets, the thick pillow cradling my head which was still half in my dreams. Dreams of a beautiful snow covering all of Washington. I walked through the fields of powder in search of something I had lost. Though I knew it was important I remained calm and took my time searching. Thick flakes whizzed around me, my feet sinking deeper and deeper in the snow, the trek becoming harder and slower. I heard the crisp sound of bells tinkling nearby, almost like rain on glass. Something up ahead caught my eye: a small, silver disk. Waist deep in whiteness now, I made my way over and scooped up a pocket watch. It's lid was broken and, when I examined the hands, noticed they were running backwards. I pocketed the treasure and, practically swimming now in the quickly freezing snow, headed back for home. I stopped, realizing then that the sound of bells was really melodic laughter coming somewhere in the trees. It came closer though I could not see its source. A gloved hand had found mine and I was looking up into the porcelain face of Alice Cullen, face glowing radiantly in the pale morning. She pulled me out of the neck high snow and walked perfectly, without falling through atop it. I did the same, finding it hard as ice now. Soon we were skating... skating hand in hand... laughing...

"Bella," she said, brushing my face.

I smiled, leaning in closer, one hundred times more confident in dream land than in real life. Just as I reached my hand behind her neck and was about to lean in, her voice became real, the ice world we shared vanishing.

"Bella, it's time to wake up."

I slowly opened my eyes, not disappointed in the least. The only thing better than a dream version of Alice, of her smooth, crimson lips and wispy raven hair was the version I would never quite be able to memorize or dream about correctly. She almost had a haze around her, as if my mortal eyes could not unlock all the wonders of her loveliness. I smiled up at her like a fool, wanting to pull her down to me in an embrace, realizing then, fully accepting my true feelings. I did not want to run from them like I had been doing, and I would not let myself feel guilt of insecurity. I had no idea now how I felt about boys or girls, being bisexual, straight, queer, anything like that. All I knew was that I loved Alice; had since we'd first become friends. I saw now that Edward was merely a means to her, a path not gone astray like I had thought. I saw our time together now not as a waste of a year, but a chance to really get to know my best friend.

I looked around the room as Alice kindly laid out a new outfit she had obviously run off and bought me whilst I was sleeping. I found myself suddenly enamored with delight, thrilled to be her dress up doll. I was not in the bed I had accidently crawled into last night, but back in the one Cassidy and I had shared. I knew that our cuddling had not been part of my dream. I could not have imagined such an amazing moment on my own. I changed and let her do my hair, smiling constantly.

"Are you hungry? Cassidy says there's a wonderful complimentary breakfast downstairs."

Not even the mention of Alice's admirer could darken my mood. I didn't even feel bothered by her now. My thoughts were finally clearing and I saw no reason to be worried, even if their relationship did continue. I'd wait eternity for the chance of being hers.

"A little. We could go down if you like. When's check out?"

"Not for another hour and a half..." she game me a look somewhere between admiration and confusion, though I could not understand it. It was endearing though, and that was all I cared about. All throughout the morning I could not get the memory of her arms around me, our bodies touching without discretion. I kept wanting her to simply pick me up and lay me back down on our bed, curling into each other like the pages of a book. I wanted her silken fingers through my hair, on my thighs and stroking my face. I remembered the surprisingly warm feeling of her tongue as it quickly glided over my cheek, catching a fallen tear of happiness.

Simply put: I wanted her.

We joined Cassidy in the hotel's restaurant. She looked completely recovered and offered us both cups of coffee when we sat down.

"How did you two sleep?" she asked, looking as happy as I felt.

Alice shrugged. "Not bad."

"Bella? I hope I didn't move around too much. I hear I'm a little rowdy in my sleep."

I wanted to laugh, glad that the cup of coffee abstracted the view of my grinning mouth.

"No, I slept well too." I stole a glance at Alice who pretended to look through the menu with intent of ordering.

We ordered and the service was a little too fast. I wasn't ready to go home yet. The table was small and Alice and I were practically sitting on top of each other. Neither of us seemed to mind our repeated hand brushings when we'd simultaneously reach for a fork or the sugar. A part of me wondered without much conviction if she was Looking for what I'd do next just to intercept my action with her hand. Ridiculous of course, but I liked the idea.

I called Charlie, who seemed guilty about how our conversation had gone the other night.

"Did you have enough money? Don't forget to fill up at the gas station before heading back. Is Alice still with you? When will you be home."

We packed up our little possessions and checked out, taking our time heading back. We stepped in a few of the boutiques in the area, finding all manner of treasures from books to jewelry and hand painted furniture. I saw Alice admiring a blue glass and amber bracelet in one of the display cases. When we moved on to another shop I feigned having to use the bathroom and slipped out the back, having to explain to the owner why I was sneaking out. He understood and sent me on my way with a smile and I, trying not to decide or think about it too much in case Alice might have a vision, went back to the boutique to purchase the bracelet.

"Do you think you could gift wrap it?" I asked, not minding the extra money it costed. I had never really had an opportunity to buy something special for someone. Edward hated getting gifts from me because he seemed to think Charlie and I were in the poor house. Compared to him we might as well be, but I got a regular allowance and we did okay. Charlie was also pretty thrifty. Fishing and watching TV aren't exactly expensive activities. Neither of my parents were into gifts so I had quite a bit saved up over the years.

Cassidy decided to drive back. I didn't miss the moment of hesitation spread across Alice's face. If I had a car like that I wouldn't let just anyone drive it. But, being Alice and not me, she agreed, handing Cassidy the keys. I seemed to notice, not quite a distance between them, but less of an air of flirtation. Perhaps it was just a short fling and was over? I hoped. But perhaps it was just the calm before a deep relationship. The idea made my stomach sink as I got in the car. Cassidy drove us mad. Literally. She was a terrible driver. Imagine Edward's driving only without vampire intuition and accuracy. I think she sailed through every red light and stop signs were completely invisible. Alice somehow remained calm, giving her little tips along the way, but I nearly had a heart attack. I tried to assure myself that Alice wouldn't let anything happen, that secretly she might even be enjoying the thrill, knowing she could grab the wheel at any time and veer us to safety.

How odd that I should feel to safe around the most dangerous creature on the planet.

We dropped Cassidy off first as hers was the first house along the way, Alice of course being the last. When Alice was back in control of her coupe I found it much easier to breath.

"You're welcome to come over if you like," she said.

I didn't have to think twice. "Sure, sounds fun." I called Charlie to let him know we were back and that I'd be home... eventually. He had no problem with it and assured me as long as I was with Alice I didn't have to call to check in so often. I guess that shouldn't have surprised me, he'd always respected all of the Cullens save Edward, but that was probably just because he was my boyfriend... wait, how would it work if Alice and I...? I shook off the idea as we entered the tree tunnel with the large white mansion at the end of the long stretch of road. There was something I loved about that house, aside from its obvious luxury and charm. It had an air of ancientness to it, like stepping inside was escaping the clutches of time itself. It was a home where eternal creatures lived as masterpieces as if from a sacred collection at a museum. I walked through the modern furnishings, amazed that my friends had seen so much and gone so many places. They'd lived through wars and fought in them, witnessed art and music's history branch out from the beginning of the century and before. To them life was a reliable though sometimes cruel friend whom they had gotten to know intimately as I would never know, with my short life. What I loved most was that, through all their hardships, they were still blissfully happy, as if the longer they lived the better they felt. Certainly I got this vibe from Alice, if Rosalie and Edward were not always on board.

I passed the kitchen that I had set on fire mere weeks ago. It had been remodeled completely and from the look of it Esme had had fun, Alice too. They painted immaculately detailed vines and greenery crawling up the walls and spilling out into the ceiling in bright colors, circling the light fixture. As always there was food around if I should wish to stop by. I helped myself to an apple and made myself at home, for that's where I was.

I encountered the blonde goddess going up to Alice's room. She stuck her nose up in the air and didn't glance at me twice, but nor did she make it a point to insult me. Sometimes I got the strange feeling that she was actually fond of me, though she'd never show it. I didn't mind as long as I got to steal a peek at her every now and then. She gave me similar butterflies to Alice from her beauty though the ones Alice sent me were rich with meaning and friendship. And now with love.

I casually waved and smiled to her as, I realized, I'd been too afraid to do before. Though I was past her now going up the stairs and could not see behind me, I thought I heard her stop. I resisted the urge to turn around but held my smile, turning into Alice's room. I saw Edward's but did not want to go in. It might produce memories I wasn't prepared to deal with right then and it was too good of a day for that.

For hours that trickled by like imaginary minutes I was transformed into Alice's doll. We rehearsed lines for the play and she helped me with my annunciation and stage presence. I was powdered down with makeup and decorated like a Christmas tree, Alice spinning me around her room like a ballerina. It was only with her I didn't feel so awkward and I was hardly ever clumsy. I felt light and spontaneous, and occasionally, beautiful.

That was around the time I started collecting pieces of her, of us. Souvenirs I unconsciously hoarded. How could I have known soon they would be all I had left? That our time was like her icy touch, melting slowly, sweetly. When you fall in love with someone who will live forever, time is all you can think about. No amount of time however could have prepared me for what would be both the greatest and most devastating point in my life.

**A/N: You know what to do. ;) **

**And I didn't take forever to update, yay!**


	15. Consternation

**Not even a day-well, an hour short of 24 hours :P-between updates. Hehe, I'd say I'm doing much better. As always, enjoy. **

Charlie started to pester me about colleges and whether I'd applied to the ones in Washington yet.

"I'm not sure yet, Dad. Maybe I'll take a gap year, I don't know."

Honestly I'd gotten so burnt out on the subject, Edward constantly pushing applications and pressure at me. There was a world of possibilities, more since my grades were good. I did like the sound of college but had no idea what my major would be or where I wanted to live for four or more years of my life. Did I want to stay in Washington or maybe move back to Phoenix? Of course I wanted to stay near the Cullens but I had no idea where Alice would be going. To Edward's dismay, we'd discussed taking off a year together-Alice and I. He firmly stated that it was a waste of good study time and I'd probably never go back to school once I left. I had to remind him that only Alice could guess such things. After science heading to lunch at school I decided to ask Alice about it. Whenever I saw her I'd press my palm against my pocked, feeling for the small box containing her gift. I was waiting for the right time to surprise her with it. I hoped she hadn't already Seen me presenting her with it. I thought she might feign surprise anyway just to make me happy, knowing her.

"I've gotten accepted to a couple universities but I may travel first. I've already been to college a few times, it hasn't changed a whole lot."

"Where would you want to travel?' I asked, getting one of the lunch trays and stepping in line. She walked beside me sporting a flattering leather jacket and a cute beret. Her amber eyes shone so clearly I knew she probably skipped a class to go hunting. They reminded me of the way the light scooped down upon the desert landscapes of Arizona, specks of red and brown mixed in. I felt all warm and sentimental whenever they were like this, like two suns smiling out at me, I grabbed some pizza and a bottle of water as I listened to Alice's travel destinations and the amazing stories of the places she'd already been. I felt so lucky; who else had a friend who'd been through so much history but was still young? She'd been alive when JFK was shot, when the first nuclear bomb was detonated, witnessed the invention of television, the first lunar landing and the Holocaust. She'd predicted the stock market crash and tried to warn the right officials to no affect. Ground breaking medicines, swing music, the internet... the list went on. I kept asking so many questions the thought of college was long lost. In a matter of seconds, an uneaten slice of pizza on my plate, lunch was over and it was time for drama class.

We talked more along the way, each hugging Cassidy when she cam up to greet us, Alice of course less awkwardly than me. There was definitely a decline of sparks between them but I felt weird asking Alice about it. Maybe they'd really just been friends all along and my jealousy had made it seem like more of a big deal than it was. Some girls were like that. Anyway, they weren't going to the dance together. It appeared Cassidy was going with Jason, who was the understudy of Captain Hook. They flirted nonstop through rehearsals which was almost painful to watch, always sneaking off to make out back stage. But finally things were coming together, all costumes fitted and lines rehearsed. We all felt pretty good. The actors enjoyed their last deep breath of calm before the nerves of opening night befell them. Except Alice. She could-and did-recite her lines and a few of the others by heart in French and English. I liked the way her voice sounded when she spoke in foreign languages, especially Italian.

After school I saw Alice off and hung back in the library. Just for the hell of it I finalized some scholarship applications and browsed the universities Alice was looking into, all of them highly competitive. After an hour of homework and the beginnings of an English essay, I was ready to head home. I liked coming to the school's library every now and then. The computers were better than mine at home. I was saving my files and packing up my stuff when I heard someone come in. I didn't look, I didn't have to.

If a whisper could sound like a yell, Rosalie had perfected it with equal amounts of venom and persuasion.

"If I knew where don't you think I'd have told you all by now?" whispered back Emmett. He spoke louder when he realized no one else was around. He must not have been paying very close attention but even so I didn't want to interrupt them and stayed glued to my seat, staring at the screen. "I wouldn't keep that from you, Rose."

"It's not right. You don't just do that to your family. It's disrespectful." At first I thought she was referring to Emmet, but then heard more.

"He's not thinking about us right now. We shouldn't expect him to. He had to leave. I don't blame him."

"So if I divorced you would you simply run away?"

"That's completely different. We're married. What we have is far stronger than what they did. That was obvious from the get go."

"He loved her." Rosalie hissed. "She was always indifferent."

"That's being a little harsh, don't you think? She wanted to love him, and might have for a while. Those things aren't always plain to see."

I could hear shuffling and then, even lower, Emmett said, "And sometimes they are." There was a pause. I could hear them kissing and then Rosalie sigh.

"I just hope he doesn't do something idiotic as usual when he's upset."

"He'll get over it."

I could imagine Rosalie shaking her head. "No. I dare say he won't."

"Do you want to keep looking for him?"  A pause. "No. If he doesn't want to be found he won't be, but I have a feeling he'll come back. Maybe once she's graduated."

"Or dead," Emmett laughed but Rosalie cut him off. "Sorry."

"I doubt if Alice will allow that now." There was a bitterness in Rosalie's voice I could not decipher.

"How do you mean?"

"After how close they've become do you honestly think Alice will let her get much older? She's in too deep and _not _just because she likes having her own personal 3D paper doll to play with whenever she likes."

"She won't turn her. Carlisle won't let her."

"He may. Plus he couldn't stop her... She might just love Bella as much as Edward did."

My stomach sank. I didn't breath.

Emmett laughed, as if a bear were laughing. "Come on, admit it, Rosalie. You wouldn't mind having her for a sister."

I heard a loud smacking sound and Emmett groan. "Ow..."

"Let's get back. I want to talk with Alice before she does something irreversible."

"You worry too much," Emmett told her, his voice fading out and the door closed.

I exhaled, feeling a little sick. So they were searching for Edward without luck. And Rosalie of all people thought Alice cared for me that much? I admit I was rather elated to hear something like that from someone so blunt and perceptive as Rosalie, even if she hadn't known I was listening. But she also thought Alice might transform me into a vampire? That part baffled and awed me. I'd thought about it a lot when I was with Edward-being a vampire-but now that he was out of the picture I began to associate immortality with new things. Not to live forever with Edward, but now simply to be like Alice, like Rosalie. Living ice sculptures preserved by time. Free to gain as much knowledge as possible and still be young while being wise. I wanted to scour the planet as Alice had done. With her. Could she really care for me as much as Rosalie said?

I didn't have time to work out much of the facts I had been given. While I pondered I packed up the rest of my things and went to the exit, making sure Emmett and Rosalie weren't in the hall beyond the doors. I pushed on the metal handle and froze.

"You know it's not very polite to eavesdrop on other people's conversations."

I spun around to find Rosalie leaning on one of the bookshelves. Her immense golden curls shone in the half light, dark bronze eyes aglow. She looked like a fairy tale princess who had escaped right from one of the many volumes behind her. The pit of surprise and slight fear was matched with the familiar butterflies I got whenever I saw a vampire of such beauty. I tried to play it cool, pretend I didn't know what she was talking about.

"Oh, hey Rosalie. I didn't see y-"

"That isn't going to work."

Of course I failed. She was younger than Alice but her severeness always made her seem older. Her and Alice were practically polar opposites in that way and I was much better around hyper optimism and charisma.

"I'm sorry. You two came in and I didn't want to interrupt."

"No, you were afraid I'd get angry with you."

I looked down at my shoes.

"You know you really are very human, Bella." I heard her come closer.

"What do you mean?" I didn't meet her eyes. At any moment she was going to rip my head off, I knew it. I tried to slow down my breathing.

"Your fear," she explained. "It's so very human."

My heart was pounding, and she was still advancing. My palms were sweaty.

"When you're able to kill any other creature on the planet, humans included, on a whim, you begin to lose your ability to be scared." She spoke in a whisper that didn't sound quite like malice but wasn't calm either. "You look back on your short time as a human and wish you'd done a little less being afraid." She was very close now. I could smell her sweet aroma and I knew she could smell mine.

"Don't waste your time worrying about a future that'll arrive regardless of your emotions."

I didn't know what to think or do. Whatever her words meant they were not angry, just passionate. Like the other day during our brief crossing on the staircase I got the strange feeling that she was looking after me in a way, that though she might never show it openly, she cared for me. Even if it was only because Alice did, it was farther than most people, especially a human, would come. I held my silence but looked up and met her eyes. I smiled, feeling much more relaxed. She was right of course. I couldn't let fear of the future, of rejection, stop me from living my life.

On her way out she brushed my shoulder and told me, "Don't you have lines to rehearse for that play?" She opened the door and, just before it shut again, glanced back. "Alice is at home."

I didn't need to be told twice. This was Rose's way of letting me know she recognized me as Alice's friend. That though we ourselves were not exactly buddies, she did not hate me. To my surprise this was a huge comfort. One that had taken me completely off guard, for I had been so sure she would be angry.

As I drove to the Cullen's house I thought more about Rosalie's words of wisdom. All my studying, all my applications and worries for the future and I was missing the _now, _time Ihad to just be a teenager falling in love. When you fall in love with someone who will live forever, time is all you can think about. But I wouldn't waist it. I was going to go for it, tell her how I really felt. I was going to waltz in there and declare my love, not caring who heard or what the world thought. Yes, I was going to do it!

Until my engine died.

**A/M: Pleeease review ! xD**


	16. Approaching Twilight

My first instinct was to phone Alice. If she hadn't already seen what had happened and was on her way, surely she'd be happy to give me a lift. I called twice with no answer which was very strange for her. Usually she Saw that you were about to call and called you instead. Edward always hated it but I found it fun. If I'd been anywhere else besides Forks I'd have chalked up the rain to bad luck on top of my engine dying. It started out as if springing out of sprinklers installed in the sky then came down in buckets. I stayed in the car, wrapping myself up in my thin sweatshirt.

Only one other car passed me. A man leaned out and asked if I needed a lift but I declined. I wouldn't have gotten in a van like that under the best of circumstances. I knew it probably wasn't right to judge but I was in no mood to be giving strangers the benefit of the doubt.

Charlie was at work and I didn't want to bother him with something so trivial. Jacob crossed my mind but I hadn't seen him in months and I wasn't looking forward to our next reunion which was destined to be painfully awkward. But it was getting colder by the second and I was blocking the road. I needed to call somebody. I was even more weary to take Carlisle away from his work and I didn't have any of the other Cullen's numbers. Rose and Emmett would be back home by now. I suppose there was some sort of tow company I could call but I didn't have any money on me and that seemed like a last resort. I searched through my cell phone, mostly finding people's names I'd lost touch with even though we still went to the same school. If I hadn't stayed so late I might have been able to get a ride off of someone.

My fingers searched up and down through glowing contact list, hovering over a slightly better option than the tow truck but not by much. Finally realizing I had no other option unless I wanted to get even more stiff with cold, I dialed. It was a quick conversations but did the trick. I tried not to regret my decision but wasn't completely relieved when I saw the approaching car pull up alongside my truck. Without letting myself think about it I grabbed my bag and locked the car, going around to the passenger side.

"Hey hon," Cassidy greeted me with a big smile. I closed the door and reached for my seat belt. Even if she wasn't my favorite person, or driver for that matter, I felt more relaxed now that I was in a functioning vehicle. She turned up the heater and made me put my hands on the vent. It was an old car like mine but seemed to run a lot smoother. Obviously.

I was regretting not calling Jacob it got so awkward for a few moments but after a bit she began to chatter away. It wasn't so bad really, and she hadn't had to come.

"Aren't you so excited for the play?" she beamed, keeping her eyes on the sleek road to my comfort.

"Actually yeah. I can't wait to see it."

"We've all worked so hard and it's going to be-" she gasped with delight. "It's just going to be _brilliant!" _I couldn't help but let some of her charisma rub off on me. A faulty engine wasn't enough to spoil the day I was going to tell my best friend how I really felt about her.

"So are you and Jason, uh, going together?"

"Well we're both in the play of course. We're going out if that's what you mean. Isn't he funny? I just think he's hilarious."

"So then nothing really... nothing really happened with..."

"What, with Alice? You can talk about it you know, Bella. You're adorable, you know that?" She laughed and I half expected her to rumple my hair or something. "No, no sparks." She gave me a sideways look.

I felt that she would continue but didn't. I was sure she wanted to say something.

"What is it?"

"What?"

I shrugged but gave her a knowing look.

We were half way to my house by now.

"You really are adorable, Bella. You and Alice both. Oblivious, but cute. I hope you figure it out soon how good you two are for each other. I'm not the only one who thinks so you know. You won't be outcasted or something if that's what you're worried about. People aren't-"

"Wait, hold on, what are you talking about?"

She rolled her eyes but didn't let her smile drop. "Alice is really sweet and a good friend but I was never really into her. I mean, don't get me wrong, she's gorgeous, but she's not really my type."

I turned away and stared at the road, not really understanding. How Alice couldn't be someone's type was beyond me, but what I was being told was far more confusing.

"So that weekend, what was that then? I thought you two were flirting the whole time."

"Oh we were." She grinned mischievously. "But really I was just trying to cause some commotion, move things along you know? You guys have really got something, I can tell. Matchmaking has always been sort of a weakness of mine. And you two fit."

"Whoa, wait, are you saying you never liked her and that weekend was just to try and get _us _together?"

"Well it got your attention didn't it?"

I blinked. I could see my house coming up.

"I knew from when I asked you if you were interested in her that you had some things to figure out and I just thought I'd help. I hope you don't mind. It was a blast for me though."

"You were just trying to make me jealous?" It was more of a revelation than a question. Suddenly her being 'sick' made sense now. I knew she hadn't really looked ill. Alice must have seen that she faked it... but why would she go along with it? All it did was give us some privacy... I swallowed.

"Sorry for the lie. But, well, yeah. Alice is a little harder to read but I know she cares for you. Hold on, isn't that your truck?"

I tore away my attention which had been glued to Cassidy's words for the last several minutes and looked up ahead. My truck was in its usual space in the drive, a lone figure leaning against it. Who it was an how they'd beaten us here, without the key let alone, I had no clue.

Cassidy waved and the figure, too obscured by the rain for me to see, waved back.

"I have to be off now, dear, but I hope you're not angry."

"No... I don't know... no... I just.... wow. Okay. Thanks for the ride. Sorry, I'm just trying to wrap my head around this... but thanks."

She giggled. "Don't forget your bag." I almost had.

"I'll see you at school." That was all I could manage before stumbling out of the car and rushing over to my truck. Cassidy didn't hover, but honked twice as she drove off. My breathing was loud and my heartbeat much too fast. I hadn't looked at the figure yet, who stood arms crossed, leaning against the driver door. We were both completely soaked and equally indifferent. Finally, trying to get a grip on myself, I moved closer and met Alice's eyes. She must have hot wired the truck and taken another road.

"Hi," I said.

She didn't answer. I read her expression and found it calm. The only sound came from the rain pattering on the roof and the metal of my truck. It helped wash away the sweat on my palms.

"It was really nice of you to bring my truck.... um, to bring it over for me. I tried to call but um..."

"I know. I wanted her to get you." Her voice was still sweet as honey, eyes luminous through the grey rain. She didn't make any movement though I was fidgeting and switching nervously from foot to foot like an idiot.

"And why was that?" I asked, staring at the puddle forming around my feet.

"Because I wanted you two to talk."

A pause.

"Alice... I was on my way to your house. I needed to talk with you."

"I know."

I forced myself to look her in the face. Her hair was flat against her head and looked longer, a few quirky spikes sticking up around her head like a halo. I'd never seen her soaked from the rain before. It dulled the luster a little in her skin so she looked closer to human. More like a super model now than a goddess.

"I have something for you," we both said at once, each of us trying to steer the conversation. I laughed because I didn't know what else to do.

"It's in my room," I said.

"Right behind you."

We took off our soaked shoes and jackets and I grabbed a few towels. I noticed that my hands were shaking. Sometimes that happened if I forgot to eat, but I suspected this was for a different reason. I handed her our best towel while I squeezed out the rain from my hair. Silently we went up to my room and she folded the towel and courteously put it on the bed before sitting down. I noticed the remaining drops of water on her skin had crystalized into frost. I changed into some dry clothes and I let her borrow my robe. She wrapped herself in it, hugging her arms around herself, smelling the fabric.

"It smells like you," she smiled, more spikes poking up messily in her hair. More than once I caught myself staring at her but never did she look away. Even though we kept our distance it still felt like we were touching.

I took out the little box with her secret gift and went to sit on the bed. Neither of us bothered to get the lamp though it was approaching twilight. As we took out our impromptu presents we worked ourselves among the pillows and blankets and it wasn't long until I was warmed up. With slender, skilled fingers she made quick work of the little ribbon and wrapping, carefully setting each item aside as if it were part of the treasure. I made sure to pay close attention to her face when she saw the bracelet she'd admired in the boutique and was pleased to find pure surprise and joy.

"Oh, Bella, it's lovely. But it's too much."

"You should be used to this sort of thing by now," I said, stealing her line from before when she'd spoiled us with the hotel.

"It's a remarkable piece."

"Let me see you put it on."

I helped her with the clasp even though she didn't need it. It looked like pieces of a sunset caught up around her dainty wrist. I took her hand, examining it.

"Pretty dull in comparison, but you wear it well."

I got more butterflies with the way she was looking at me then. I swear I almost melted right there.

"I love it. Thank you." Then it was my turn. She produced a parcel wrapped up in silk fabric with a lace bow that probably costed more than my gift, not that it mattered. I was as carful as she was, folding the silk as soon as I removed it. It was a book.

"Look inside."

"This looks really old." I gently lifted the cover which felt like it might flake away if I held it wrong. But the binding was still good. On a yellowed page inside it read:

_** Peter and Wendy**_

Published in 1911

_**Sir James Matthew Barrie**_

The last line was signed in blue ink.

I don't know how long I stared at it, and then at her.

"This can't be. This is... but _how_?" I immediately set the antique down, afraid it might crumble in my hands. It belonged in a museum.

"Right place, right time. I watched him sign it in 1929."

"What? He signed this for you?"

She nodded. "Yes. Really nice person, Mr. Barrie."

I could hardly breath. "You're joking. This has got to be some sort of..." but I knew it couldn't be a joke, she wasn't cruel like that. Just one more piece of history she'd picked up over the years. And now it was mine. "Alice, this is amazing... I can't even begin to thank you..."

"Yes you can."

I looked up at her. She opened her arms and, unhesitant, I leaned into her. I'm not sure how long we stayed like that, whispering little details about our gifts and especially about the book, which led into discussing the play. She held me perfectly, as if that was the way I was supposed to have been held all my life. I felt like little more than a small mound of fluff melting into those slender arms. My head rested in the crook of her neck and her lips rested sweetly on my forehead. I knew I could have fallen asleep easily, as I had done in the hotel, wrapped up in this way, but didn't dare miss a moment. She played with her bracelet, the fading light catching through the stones. She rocked me slightly and stroked my hair and I felt sure I would drift off into paradise.

This was why she hadn't picked up her phone, why she had wanted Cassidy to pick me up. She saw this. More importantly, she'd chosen this, wanted it as much as I did. In that gloriously long moment we shared I finally knew that Cassidy was right:

We fit.

**Please, oh please, review my dears. :) And thank you for reading!**


	17. The Girl Who Would Not Grow Up

**The Girl Who Would Not Grow Up**

The night of the play sprang up on me along with jittery nerves and excitement. I was constantly ranting about how amazing it was going to be and I wasn't sure if Charlie was annoyed or glad that I was so into something. He got someone to cover his shift and we drove to the high school together to watch it. I had half a mind to bring Alice's gift with me but it seemed a little absurd and I didn't dare risk losing or damaging it. The drama room was transformed into a Neverland like I had never seen before. White lights were slung across the entrance hall, coiling around very realistic looking trees and plants. The place glowed with twinkling lights and there was a general happiness in the air. The actors were greeting our guests as they filtered in, handing out paper flowers and programs. I had to run backstage for a moment to see if they needed any more help but they told me to relax and enjoy the show. I couldn't find Alice but Cassidy waved to me from behind the curtain. I smiled and, for the first time in a while, genuinely was glad to see her. I got butterflies just thinking about the other evening with Alice, how perfect it was there with her and how brilliant she was going to be tonight. I was pleased to see the room was packed, several people were standing in the back because all the seats had been filled. I spotted the Cullens and we waved to each other, except Rosalie of course, who pretended not to notice my presence. All the same I was glad she was there for Alice.

Charlie read the program up until the lights dimmed and the moss covered curtains drew open. The narrator, one of the fairies/mermaids began in a loud voice, welcoming everyone to the play. I hadn't realized the orchestra would actually be playing live along with the production, having thought we'd end up using some prerecorded composition. The difference it made was incomparable. All final whispers came to a halt as people turned off their phones and prepared to be swept away.

"All children, except one, grow up. They soon know that they will grow up, and the way Wendy knew was this. .."

After a few minutes of witty dialogue between Mr. and Mrs. Darling, that even made Charlie laugh, the 'children' entered the scene. They began fencing with a branch and a wooden sword, shouting out threats and words only the pirates of their make-believe adventures dared to use. There seemed to be a lull in the dialogue, as if someone had forgotten a line. As it continued I began to feel sure someone else was supposed to be on stage at that moment. The actors improvised as best they could but after a moment, the audience began to whisper. Out of the dark behind me came a hand that grabbed my arm and pulled me from my seat. Someone whispered in my ear that the actress I was understudy to had locked herself in the storage room and wouldn't come out. They simply didn't have the time to coax her out and it was up to me to fill the role. Charlie looked confused but there was no time to explain, or refuse for that matter. I knew if I let myself think about it I would be in just as bad a shape as the other actress. I didn't resist as I was dragged backstage and tossed into the dressing room. I was pinched, pressed, stuck, pushed, powdered, clothed, dusted with makeup and hurled at the curtain so fast that I barely had time to catch my breath.

I looked up and was staring out into the packed audience, bright lights shooting into my eyes. I could see Esme mutter something and Charlie did a double take, looking awed. I'm sure I looked the same way. I smiled as I tried to remember Wendy's first line, luckily being rescued by John and Michael. I was shaky and forgot a line every couple of scenes it felt like. I tried to take deep breathes and forget the audience was there. Needless to say I had never been in a play before, had never thought my meager understudy job would land me the leading female role. After a while I began to calm down and the lines became easier. If I didn't look at the audience and pretended I was simply in rehearsal it went a lot smoother. I tried to remember to speak clearly and loudly, as if I were trying to speak to the people in the very back of the room.

I felt absolutely rescued when Alice floated down on stage.

I knew that now I was completely off the crowd's radar, what with her parading around in such a beautiful costume, sparkling with glitter and, perhaps, her own skin's sparkle.

"What's your name?" Alice asked me.

"Wendy Moira Angela Darling," I replied "What is yours?"

"Peter Pan."

"What? Is that all?"

"Yes," she said, winking at me secretly, as if to say she was glad I was the one performing with her. That made me smile where I was not supposed to.

I asked where she lived.

"Second to the right," said Peter, "and then straight on till morning."

"What a funny address!"

It began to feel like it did when we rehearsed on our own. I was a wreck at the parts without Alice there, but I knew I had done well with her which was a pleasant surprise.

"Wendy," she continued, "One girl is more use than twenty boys."

I sat up on the prop that passed as a bed, finding it very easy to look dazzled by her.

"Do you really think so, Peter?"

"Yes, I do."

"I think it's perfectly sweet of you," I spoke, trying to discreetly blot off the sweat on my palms. "I shall give you a kiss if you like."

"What do you mean?" After a moment Alice held out her hand expectantly.

"Surely you know what a kiss is?" I asked, trying to sound aghast.

"I shall know when you give it to me," she replied stiffly.

I pulled out a thimble that had been placed in the costume's pocket and handed it to her.

"Now," said Peter, "shall I give you a kiss?"

"If you please." I inclined my face toward her, but she merely dropped an acorn button in my hand.

"Well then... I shall wear this kiss on a chain around my neck."

Wendy asked Peter more of where he came from, of the fairies and dangers, and of the lost boys.

"Aren't there any girls there?"

"Oh, no; girls, you know, are much too clever to fall out of their prams."

Again, it wasn't difficult to look flattered. "I think," I said, "it is perfectly lovely the way you talk about girls; John there just despises us." I motioned to the actor who played Wendy's younger brother.

For reply Peter rose and kicked John out of bed, blankets and all. This was one of the places I forgot a line and Alice improvised beautifully. She was so hilarious and talented I found it difficult not to laugh or show the wrong emotions.

I picked up with the next line I knew, receiving a sympathetic look from her. "And I know you meant to be kind," I said, relenting, "so you may give me a kiss."

"I thought you would want it back," Peter said a little bitterly, and offered to return me the thimble.

"Oh dear," I said "I don't mean a kiss, I mean a thimble."

"What's that?"

"It's like this." It took me a moment which I hoped looked intentional for dramatic effect, but in a moment I leaned over and kissed her quickly on the cheek, trying harder than ever not to blush scarlet.

"Funny!" said Peter gravely. "Now shall I give you a thimble?"

"If you wish to," I replied, voice shaky again.

Gently, her lips met mine briefly. They were cool as silk and even softer. To everyone it was merely a fake kiss, a stage kiss, no more real than any of the props or words spoken. But there was no way I was going to get those damn butterflies raging on in my stomach under control.

Whether it was battling villainous pirates or negotiating with Indians, Alice executed her role with as much zeal and expertise as any professional actor. I was in constant awe, feeling infinitely light to watch her captivate the audience.

"To die would be an awfully big adventure!" she declared as the curtains drew together and the room filled with cheers and applause. Behind the closed curtain Alice took my hand as the cast and crew lined up, quickly taking positions for the final curtain call. The sheets of heavy fabric spread open again, the crowd all on their feet with genuine happiness on their faces. I heaved a sign, grinning myself silly. Alice squeezed my hand as everyone bowed, cheers and whistles never dying down even after the curtain dropped for the last time. I was such a mess of emotions I was sure what to say or do. Luckily Alice seemed to have an idea.

After we changed back into our clothes she led me out into the dispersing audience, through the twinkling lights, people congratulating and looking at us in a way I had never been looked at before. It was as if I'd actually managed to move them somehow. But I knew that was impossible with how nervous I had been, not that I'd ever been a good actor. Hands clasped, we pushed through, smiling at everyone and thanking them for coming.

"Lovely work, Wendy!" one of my teachers yelled to me and I waved back, thanking her. Of course everyone had something special to tell Alice. How her costume, or her stage presence, or her wit had charmed them. She led me on until we reached the refreshing night air. I hadn't realized how hot and stuffy it had been in there. We spotted the Cullens and they all hugged or congratulated us. Charlie was with them, completely dumbfounded.

"I thought you were just doing lights and things like that."

"So did I. But I had this understudy and-"

"Bella!" Cassidy called, carrying several bouquets of flowers. Was that my name? I had felt completely transformed into Wendy Darling. "These are for you. I couldn't find you backstage. You two were amazing," she hugged us both, careful not to crush the sweet smelling flowers.

We thanked her and soon the school was nearly empty. We'd have everything up and running again by tomorrow for another performance. People asked if I'd be playing Wendy again and looked actually disappointed when I said no.

Alice offered to drive me home and I told Charlie, I wasn't exactly sure why, that we might be a while. He gave a nod and hugged me without a word. He looked proud.

I was right to tell Charlie not to wait up because Alice did have something in mind. We waited, talking outside as everyone else went home. She gave me her jacket, part of one of her costumes when she noticed me shiver from the night air. Everything seemed so fresh and alive then, like I had just done something truly amazing and life altering. All I'd really done was act in a play, but with Alice with me it seemed like so much more than that.

She led me around to the back entrance which apparently someone had forgotten to lock. I suspected she had something to do with it and it was not merely her Sight, but said nothing. Through the dark of the stashed props and costumes she led me by the hand, moving me around obstacles and down onto the stage on which we'd just performed. We set our flowers down and sat on the edge, lighting one of the candles used as a prop. For a long silence we did not speak, just listened to the calm silence after such an amazing uproar. We kept our hands clasped tight.

She spoke as if still speaking to the audience. "I didn't see this one coming."

I smiled through the dark. "I know. When they pushed me out on here I thought I might be sick or faint or something. You were so good. You helped me a lot."

Lit up by the faint candle she laughed softly. "That wasn't really what I was referring to." She turned to me, smiling still. "But I think it's perfectly sweet of you. I shall give you a kiss if you like." She quoted.

I laughed, sarcastically holding out my hand. She grinned and produced the thimble we'd exchanged earlier. I accepted it, putting it in my pocket.

"Now me?" she asked.

"What about you?" I pretended to have no idea what she meant though I couldn't have missed her body shifting closer to mine if I'd tried.

"I should very much like a thimble, Wendy."

I wondered if she could see my blush through the dark. I knew she could. For once I didn't mind. I turned away, trying to gather myself, stomach and tongue tied. But smiling.

"I shall give you a thimble, Peter." Then, more to myself, "...the girl who would not grow up."

For the second time that night I felt Alice Cullen's sweet lips against mine. Only this time there was no one to watch, no time limit. Our lips moved flawlessly as if they had always done it, hands only unclasping to take the other's face, to feel each others hair, skin. We sunk to the stage floor in a tight embrace, breathing each other in, pulling at the air, savoring the moment, tasting that idea of Neverland.

All children, except one, grow up. They soon know that they will grow up, and the way I knew was this: I fell in love with Alice Cullen.

**A/N: I haven't really read through or edited this chapter so I hope it's okay. I've been looking forward to it though and I hope it ties together a loose end or two. I don't think I quite captured that Neverland magic like I wanted, but oh well. There you have it ladies and gents: Peter and Wendy, Alice and Bella. An 'item' at last. If you review on no other chapter please, please review on this one. Many thanks and happy reading to you. **


	18. Author's Note

**A/N: Dear Reader,**

**I regret to say that I will not be able to update this story for at least another month. I am a student and work a job, and the things which are keeping me busy are not things I can neglect should I hope to pass my classes or continue having a roof to write under. Please be assured that the story will be updated as soon as I physically can, and that there are a good many plot twists and excitements to come. I hope you are doing well and reading lots of other wonderful books and fics. Thank you for your amazing reviews so far, and for your understanding. **

_**-MIS**_


	19. Instructor

**A/N: Thank you for your patience!**

Alice and I weren't able to talk for a day after the play... well, after the morning when she brought me home. So we had some time to think things over. I did everything to prove to myself that I was nuts, that I had imagined everything, that it was all just an elaborate fantasy. But I could not. I knew her arms had been around me, her lips... her dove soft lips on mine, her scent, her beautiful voice lingering in my dreams. I remember lounging around in bed for a long time before getting up, replaying the night's events over and over.

After breakfast I took a book and went into the woods, taking a light jacket. Forks had never seemed so beautiful to me before. The morning's air was crisp and the ground was layered with fresh pine needles, their smell amplified by the night's rain. I climbed a tree, something I realized I had never done before oddly, and read as the sun rose. I was rejuvenated, rekindled. Birds and small woodland creatures chirped and scuttled around underfoot. I had a strange urge to climb higher to look over the entire expanse. I was further from my house than I thought. Up at the top before the branches were too thin to support me, I watched the sky catch fire. I rested my head on the trunk, the slick bark feeling rough. I felt it with my hand, absentmindedly working my fingertips into the thick grooves. Too thick to be natural. I looked at the indents and saw that someone had carved on of those hearts with theirs and their sweetheart's initials inside.

**A & B FOREVER**

I smiled, delighted by the coincidence. Someone else with our initials had shared this tree, had thought they would stay together for the rest of their lives. Maybe they had. The idea of it comforted me but was somewhat foreign. To be with someone forever. I had always know I would have Alice as my friend for life, but now that we were together would that change? I liked to think no matter how our romantic relationship went we would have the resilience to stay friends, but it was too early to tell and not to mention worry about it. I found that for the rest of the day I could not stop smiling. The next morning I woke up not being able to stand not seeing her. I liked it though. Her absence had left me ravenous for her attention and I was torn between dressing as quickly as possible and taking care to look my best. Somehow even though I was hurrying, I still took an hour to get ready. I was up before Charlie and it was another gorgeous morning. I was biassed of course, by her, but I wasn't complaining. Had I known happiness or excitement before this? That kiss-I mean, that _thimble-_was changing everything.

Esme let me in. We hugged simultaneously. Usually either one or both of us was hesitant with the Cullens when it came to touching. Her skin was cool and my body longed even more for the woman upstairs. When I went up, surprising Emmett with my speed, hearing his chuckle from downstairs. I didn't see her at first. None of the doors were closed. I expected living together for so long created an infallible sense of trust. I let myself wander, enjoying the beautiful house as I looked for her. She was in Carlisle's office, feet up on the desk, leaning back in the chair with a pipe between her smiling lips. She blew smoke rings my way.

"Looks like you found me, my dear Watson."

I shut the door.

"Hello, Alice."

"You're blushing."

"What an amazing detective you are. I didn't know vampires could smoke."

"It's just as bad for us as it is for you, just in different ways. You dislike it?"

I walked over, sitting on the edge of the wooden desk, fingering a pen somewhat nervously.

"As adorable as you are, I'm not too crazy about the idea of kissing something that tastes like an ash tray."

"Fair enough. Though... What do you think of the idea in general?"

"What, kissing you? Or smoking?"

"The former."

"Well I can't really be sure. Now that we're so far from Neverland, things could have changed." I was leaning in, pulled in by her own gravity.

She leaned in too, eyes slowly shutting. "As far as I'm concerned, sweetie, I never left."

I'll admit it was weirder this time. Not physically. Just the opposite in fact. But mentally I couldn't stop thinking-

"I'm kissing a girl," I said aloud.

"Yes, you are. You'll make a fine detective too one day."

"No... but I mean... " I pulled away. "Wow."

"Do you need a moment?" she giggled. "To identify your gender, sexual orientation, and another slew of pointless, generally answerless questions which society has forced you to analyze?"

"Probably. You seem to be pretty comfortable with it."

"Very."

"Have you... been with other..."

"Girls? Boys? People somewhere in between and outside of the spectrum?"

I gave a weird sort of shrug.

She smiled. "Let's just say you haven't been exposed to much."

"I can agree with that. So will you be the one to enlighten me?"

A gleam and a mischievous little smile spread across her face. I barely noticed her eyes dart to the clock on the wall.

"Have you ever tried yoga?" she asked, surprising me.

"Um, no..." I laughed, trying to figure out the sudden subject change. "My mom was in to that for a week or something."

"It's an excellent stress reliever and does wonders for the figure."

I pretended to look offended. "So you think I'm stressed and out of shape do you?"

I turned my back to her dramatically, crossing my arms in a huff. I heard her set down the pipe and move out of the chair. She came around and uncrossed my arms, holding both of my hands. She looked dreamily into my eyes before nodding.

"Yes."

My facade melted into truth.

"Yes?"

"Stressed over how crazy you are for me. And as for being out of shape, I think I'll be able to remedy that fairly quickly."

She had her hands on my hips, arms encircling my waist. A hand found its way from my back up to my neck, caressing the skin. I wanted so badly to kiss her, for her to show me all that I had not been exposed to...

"Is this moving too fast for you?" she whispered.

"No. It's actually a little bit perfect."

"Good. Because I want to take this to the next level."

I stared at her in suspense, gasping as her cold fingers stroked my cheek. She leaned in gently.

"Bella... Nothing would please me more than to help you pick out a yoga mat." She was smiling halfway through her sentence and laughing when she reached the end.

I rolled my eyes. "Are you going to do that often?" I pushed her away, but was smiling myself.

"What?"

"Teasing me."

A look of innocence crossed her face as she pulled me towards the door. "Why, I would _never _do that to you!"

"You do it just by occupying the same room," I said without thinking, blushing bright red. She rested her cool hands against my burning cheeks.

"So do you, love."

It wasn't until we'd purchased some work out clothes and a yoga mat that I realized how bad an idea it was.

"Of course it's a good idea. It'll be fun."

"No, but really, you know how clumsy I am."

"This will help with that."

"I'm horrible at any sport that-"

"It's not a sport, or a competition. We can stop if you don't like it, but at least give it a try. For me?"

"For you, you annoying little pixie?" I joked, kissing her forehead. With a sigh, "Fine."

We drove to a fitness center just outside of Forks. I felt ridiculous in those tight clothes and even worse when we went inside. There were a bunch of miraculously fit women waiting patiently on their colorful mats. It was then I noticed that Alice didn't have one.

"Oh no, you're not leaving me here alone are you?" I panicked. "I mean, you didn't bring a mat. Does that mean we can go?"

"Don't be silly. I keep mine here." I watched with alarm as she walked up to the front of the room and unrolled her own matt, sitting down facing the room. "Welcome back everyone," she greeted us.

She was the instructor.

"Let's start by taking some relaxing breaths. Inhale... and exhale... Hands resting on the knees, eyes softly closed."

_You've got to be joking._

"Bella, if you'd like to join us," she smiled. Dumbfounded, I unrolled the mat and copied the people around me. I tried to do as she said, but my heart was pounding. I was a mix of nerves and a little excitement to see Alice give the class.

"Now, we're going to circle our heads all the way around our necks, relieving any tension there. Slowly, that's good."

Okay, so maybe this wasn't going to be too hard. Once my breathing calmed down it was actually pretty nice. I was easily deceived.

She brought us through a series of balancing and stretching that I could either not do or just barely manage. By the end I was panting and sweating, muscles protesting. She was right, I was out of shape. But still, I had to admit that I felt pretty good. At one point she'd been walking around to help us with our alignment and it did not slip past my notice how long she lingered on me. I lost my balance just having her close, but she steadied me and placed her cool hands on my burning skin. Her fingers slid along one of my legs while the other hand readjusted my hips.

We showered and got dressed in a change of clothes we'd brought. We talked and sang loudly to music on the ride back.

"Did you like it?" she asked hopefully.

"It was... interesting."

"Oh," she looked disappointed.

"But not horrible. I mean, that's the first exercise that I haven't completely failed at."

She beamed. "I thought you might like it."

"I had no idea you were an instructor though."

She shrugged. "Well there's lots of things you don't know about me." She winked.

"Like what? You've been in the olympics?"

"I wish," she laughed. "We're not allowed." We were at her house now. She had my door open for me before I'd undone my seat belt.

"Who isn't?"

"Vampires. We'd be exposing ourselves if we won everything."

"Oh... that kind of sucks, I'm sorry." "Don't. I have fun with the teaching. I do offer dance classes occasionally as well, but I doubt that'd be something you'd be interested in." We went in and sat in the living room. The atmosphere was fresh and open. I felt at home at once.

"I was a little embarrassed being the only beginner in there today," I admitted. "I don't think dancing would improve things."

She disappeared into the kitchen for a moment and returned with a plate of chopped fruit and vegetables. I hadn't realized how hungry I was.

"Perhaps you'd like a few private lessons first?" she suggested. "I won't charge you of course. By the way, it's twenty dollars for the yoga class," she laughed.

"I don't have the cash on me. Perhaps I could pay you... some other way?"

"Perhaps, but I think watching you stumble and trip over yourself just about does it."

"Hey, be nice."

She smiled. "No."

I stared at her for a moment, letting everything that had happened between us soak in.

"You're amazing," I told her. "I really don't know how this is happening."

She moved closer, pulling me in to lean on her shoulder, stroking my hair like I loved.

For a while she said nothing, then, "I know just how you feel."


	20. Bravery

**A/N: And now it's time for me to sneak back in and hand you this chapter, avoiding eye contact, scuttling out of your way before the much earned abuse starts. Read first, punish later.**

_**Bravery**_

Graduation day. Was high school over already? It seemed like things had just started. In many ways they had.

I could remember reluctantly coming to Forks, struggling to make friends. Falling for Edward and thinking we'd be happy forever. The Cullens welcomed me in and I felt that anything was possible. Then the problems with Edward started getting bigger, we learned who the other was, and we drifted. Not being able to stand his controlling nature anymore I had to break it off. I still think that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. After all, he was my first love.

Then along came Cassidy. A flirty girl who would end up doing me the biggest favor ever that I never really got around to thanking her for. Alice had always been there for me and it was obvious to everyone how close we were. Cassidy felt she should go beyond just noticing and do something about it. The way they had pretended to flirt in the movie theater, how Cassidy faked sickness so we'd all have to stay the night in a hotel on our little road trip. AKA the trap to get me to wake up already. Long story short I ended up waking up to the most beautiful girl in the world and the most shocking realization of my life: Alice Cullen. I was in love.

I was still trying to wrap my head around the truth even as we grew closer. We bought each other gifts and rarely could be kept apart. She made sure things moved slowly. Although I often wished it wouldn't, I knew the pacing was right. She was an artist with her touch, a poet with words, and an expert at knowing exactly what I needed even if I didn't.

Things with the Cullens had never been better. Rosalie had shared her acceptance and made me see what an amazing opportunity I had in front of me. I was over at their house more than when I'd been with Edward. They didn't seem to mind the breakup, even though we were all still worried he hadn't contacted any of us since his sudden departure. Alice kept reminding me that he could take care of himself, but I couldn't help worry at times. I could see the glint of fear in his adoptive parents' eyes. He could be impulsive when he was upset. Still, there was nothing I could do and there were so many positive things to focus on. I had to keep in mind the good. That wasn't hard with Alice around.

I still had dreams about the play we starred in together, the 'thimble' we'd shared. After the show the magic of the silent theater swirled around us as we admitted our passion and showed each other how we felt. I had never been kissed like that before. No one could touch me like that again, hold me the same. I briefly considered becoming religious seeing as how I had proof angels existed. She was all I could think about, and my life had never felt so _right._

As I adjusted my graduation cap I felt the person looking back at me in the mirror was no longer the girl who had come to Forks, clumsy and alone. I was now the keeper of a divine secret, a confident woman with the potential to be a hero. The winner of the most beautiful woman alive. She had been teaching me to dance for a while now and I always found an excuse to practice. It settled my mind and I found that I was no longer shaky or clumsy. Not as much anyway. I was no ballerina, but Al had shown me how to relax enough to be smooth. Even Charlie had noticed. He smiled and complimented me more, always asking if something was different. I usually pretended not to know what he was talking about, but today I let him say whatever he wanted. It was a day for parents really after all.

I didn't see Alice as we lined up to receive our diplomas. She would be near the front with the other _C _last names while I was near the back. I smiled and waved at my teachers, remembering fond moments in some of their classes. Even the gym teacher cheered for me, noticing a big change in me since I'd been doing yoga with Alice. The girl could work miracles.

The gym full of families beamed and clapped. I could see both my parents waving as Renee took pictures. Near them were the Cullens that weren't graduating. I smiled to think of how many times they had all done it before. I didn't let myself think of Edward though, not wanting to sadden the happy moment. He could have come if he'd wanted to.

My classmates smiled as they listened to the speeches and laughed at the bad jokes. When the diplomas started being handed out, the tears began. It was adorable really, seeing Charlie try to mask his emotion with his best Chief Swan face. Mom of course didn't even try to hold back that waterfall. Esme dabbed at her eyes with a tissue, the golden eyes which were unable to shed a tear. I smiled up at my family as they got to Alice's name. The moment was perfect.

"Alice Cullen?" her name was called again. Whispers began to creep across the crowd as time wore on. As subtly as I could, I went to the front where she should be, asking if anyone had seen her. I had learned to control my anxiety thanks to Alice, and that kept me calm for a while. But as they had to continue the ceremony without her, and I couldn't just ignore her absence, I went to look for her.

How could no one else be looking? That infuriated me. Everyone loved her, but when it came down to it they wanted to see their kid get that piece of paper more than anyone else. I'd rather have to repeat the entire year than miss out on graduating with her. It wouldn't come to that-it was all done on paper. Still, the ceremony did mean something to us. She'd been excited for me... Where had she gone?

I looked in every classroom, all the bathrooms, even the theater. I was about to give up when I realized I hadn't checked the parking lot. I ran to where her car was parked, glad to see it there at least.

"Alice? Alice, are you here?"

"Bella, please go back inside."

I froze. That was not the voice I'd expected to hear. I came closer, but slowly, peering around the side of the car where Alice lay on the ground. Above her stood her brother Edward.

"What did you do to her?" I accused, running and kneeling down beside her. I didn't think it was possible for vampires to be unconscious, but she appeared to be.

"I found her like this."

"I bet you did." I shot him a menacing look. "How dare you."

"I'm going to get Carlisle."

"So you can hurt him too?" I stood and shoved him into the car with all my strength, logic clearly not on my side. "You're not going near anyone."

He looked both shocked and hurt, anger creeping in there somewhere. "Bella, let go."

I tried to catch my breath, glancing down at her anxiously. "Did you... did you kill her?" Yes, breathing was becoming very difficult.

"No, Bella, of course not. Listen, I don't know what happened but Carlisle will."

I'd let him slip from my grasp before I knew he was gone. I was left with a sudden lump of cold in my heart, attacking the warmth that had been there seconds ago. A sob escaped before I could stop it. Everything was moving too quickly, and yet it was taking Carlisle so long...

I fell down by her side again, taking her hand.

"Alice, what are you doing? What happened to you? Please wake up."

I realized she was shaking as if she were cold. The dress she wore underneath her graduation robes was thin so I took my own robe off, draping it over her. I knew it was ridiculous, vampires didn't get cold, but they weren't supposed to pass out either.

After what felt like an hour I could hear footsteps approaching. Everyone was there, the Cullens in the lead. Other concerned parents trickled out but most stayed for the ceremony. There were a few of our friends and some teachers. Charlie's hand rested on my shoulder as if to say it would all be okay. What did he know? He was even more in the dark than I was. I looked at Carlisle for a sign as he tried to find out what was wrong with his daughter. There was no sign of Edward. The coward didn't want to get caught.

"This is a family matter," I heard Carlisle explaining to my dad. "I will be able to treat her better from our home. If the police need anything, that's where we'll be."

"I understand," Charlie answered. "If she was attacked, I swear we'll find who did it."

Carlisle nodded and lifted Alice off of the dirty asphalt. I resisted the urge to take out my anger on the first object in sight-her car-but I was so furious. This was so wrong, her lying there looking every bit as tiny as she was, her beautiful frame limp and defenseless. I swore right there and then that I'd kill Edward if he really did do this. Maybe he'd found out about us. Maybe he was so jealous he'd even turn on his own sister. He-

"Bella," a cool hand brushed my arm. Rosalie looked me in the eyes as if checking to see I was still breathing. "Come with me. You can wait at our house until Alice wakes up."

I barely heard her words even though they were spoken in the sweetest tone I'd ever heard her use. I was searching the trees for him, trying to catch him laughing maniacally after his victorious revenge. He wouldn't get away with this. He needed to learn he wasn't God.

Rosalie placed me in the seat of her car and we drove to their house. My fists were clenched and my breathing must have been heavy because she looked very tense. Maybe my scent was too strong for her. Of course, it could have been that her sister was in immediate danger too.

"Get a grip on yourself," she said. Just what I wanted to hear. "When Alice wakes up she'll need to see you're okay. The first thing she'll do is worry."

"What if she doesn't wake up? What if he killed her?"

"Who? Edward?"

I glared out the windshield.

The car came to a screeching halt. Rosalie raised her voice.

"First of all, my sister is not dead. Secondly," she reached over and grabbed my face, her icy nails digging in. "Listen to me! Secondly, no one in this family would ever hurt another member. If you accuse one of us, it's like challenging all of us. Do you understand me?"

Despite the feeling that all of the blood in my body had turned to ice, I somehow managed to nod.

"Our victories and losses are always shared. When one of us is hurt, we suffer the pain together. Blind accusations and useless anger never helped any situation."

She let go but I couldn't move.

"Wether either of us likes it or not, you have become a part of this family. You will support Alice and spare the rest of us your amateurish human accusations. We'll figure out what happened and resolve the problem lawfully. If you can't handle that, please get out of my car now." She leaned across me to open the door.

A terrifying silence engulfed me as the damp air flooded in. It was all I could do to keep from passing out myself. I gulped, trying to find the right words, knowing they weren't going to come. I reached out shakily and slowly shut the door. I gave a stiff nod as a very confused tear rolled down my face. It wasn't until we'd driven the rest of the way that I found the courage to reach for her hand.

"You're right about everything. I felt so weak."

She squeezed back. "Then let us be strong for you. I told you before that I lost my ability to be scared a long time ago."

The only apology or thanks I could offer was a faint nod but she seemed to understand. She held my hand all the way up to Alice's room where Carlisle was busy running tests. Rosalie saved me from a very dangerous place that day and instead gave me a strength I didn't know I had. Little by little the Cullens were shaping me into a person I didn't know could exist. Someone capable and determined, and, possibly, even brave.

They kept pushing me outside of my box.

**A/N: Thanks for sticking with me. Feels good to be writing again. **


	21. If You Give a Vampire a Cookie

**If You Give a Vampire a Cookie**

The sun snuck back into the lavender sky, darkening Alice's room. She still hadn't woken up but Carlisle had determined that she was stable and going to be fine. He still wasn't sure exactly what had happened, but all that mattered was that she was safe. The others were long gone. I rested next to her on the bed, stroking her raven hair gently. I'd changed into one of her hundreds of outfits because the dress under my graduation robes was uncomfortable to put it mildly. Still, I made sure I looked reasonably fashionable in case that might help cheer her up when she woke. Not that anything could be called ugly in her wardrobe. It was like she had an entire department store right at home, accessories included.

"Wake up?" I asked for the twentieth time. "Just think happy thoughts," I took her hand. "Are you dreaming, Alice? What would someone so perfect dream about I wonder."

I switched on a lamp as the sky went black, taking with it any hope for a normal day. I knew I should call Charlie and explain what had happened. I should probably apologize to Edward too if he was anywhere to be found. It turned out Rosalie was right and there were no signs of attack. Whatever had made her pass out was an unheard of fluke. She was not only the strongest person but the most capable vampire I knew. This was so out of the blue I still hadn't quite wrapped my head around it.

There was a knock on the door and I let Emmett in. He had his usual smile on and carried a large plate of freshly baked cookies.

"We thought you might be hungry."

I sat up on the bed. "That's sweet of you, Emmett. Thanks, but I don't think I'm really in the mood for chocolate."

"You should try to celebrate a little. It is your graduation day after all."

"Only after she wakes up."

"I figured," he set the plate down on the nightstand and touched Alice's forehead lightly. "You know... I don't think anyone's tried shaking her yet." He looked at me slyly. He began to reach out with his massive hands. "I could just..."

"No!" I lunged to swipe his hands away and he gave a hearty laugh.

"Just joking. Hey, it could work." He shrugged, smiling playfully. "You certainly wouldn't have slept through that heimlich maneuver I gave you at dinner."

I had to smile a little at that.

"I'll try not to choke on a cookie."

He grinned and swiped one before leaving. Vampires couldn't eat food like humans, but they could still appreciate aromas, especially as mouth watering as those plump chocolate chips smelled. I selected a smaller one and took a bite, realizing how hungry I was. I guess I hadn't eaten all day.

"You know, you go right ahead and sleep, Al. Emmett just brought in these amazing cookies and I get them all to myself." I brought one down to her nose. "I'd share with you, but obviously your beauty sleep is much more-"

With a jolt that sent me and the plate flying, Alice screamed and bolted upright, screaming as I'd never heard her before. In less than a minute everyone was back in the room, eyes wide.

Esme helped me up as we all stared at a very frazzled looking Alice. She blinked around at us confused, moving her mouth without speaking. Carlisle studied her some more as we all tried to hold back our questions.

"How do you feel, Alice?" he asked.

In a high voice she answered, looking like a perplexed child. "I just had the strangest dream."

"Dream?" Rosalie scoffed.

"Do you mean a vision?" Esme asked calmly.

"Yes... and no... I don't know for sure... It was so real, but I know it couldn't have been."

"What's the last thing you remember about today?" Carlisle asked attentively.

"Driving to graduation-oh my gosh, I missed it didn't I?"

"Don't worry about that now."

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I wanted to be there."

I sat back down next to her. "That's the last thing on my mind right now, Alice."

"Bella found you in the parking lot, dear." Esme put a supportive hand on my shoulder. "Do you remember how you got that way?"

"I was starting to get a vision about the day, nothing out of the ordinary... then it changed." She seemed to doubt herself. "I was getting ready to go inside the school when it hit me again but like I've never experienced before. A very strong vision, one that actually affected me physically."

"Were you in pain?" I asked anxiously.

"Yes, that was the weirdest part. It felt like my whole body was being electrocuted or something. After that it went dark. I dreamed about the past, some of my human days."

"Are you in pain now?" Carlisle asked.

She shook her head, clearly growing aware at how concerned we all were. She shrugged and gave a little laugh.

"But it doesn't matter. I'm fine. After all, it was just a dream."

Except vampires didn't sleep. We all knew that. But we also knew that if Alice didn't want to share something we wouldn't be able to convince her otherwise. She assured everyone some more that she was fine and would be fabulous again once she hunted. Maybe I was wrong and I was the only one who suspected Alice was keeping a secret, but they all wished her well and went on their way, understanding her independence. I however needed more than that. If she wasn't feeling good how could I? If she was hurt... the idea gave me goosebumps.

"Alice..."

"I can't believe I missed your graduation. I'm appalled!"

"I told you it's really okay. But-"

"I'll make it up to you. Oh! We could go shopping for your college wardrobe. What do you think?"

"Hmm. Maybe. But I was wondering..."

"Oh don't worry, I'll take care of everything-"

"Alice, please stop. I'm trying to ask you something."

"Well, I guess it is a ways off, we should go bathing suit shopping first. I bet they're having a sale right _now. _We should-"

With a frustrated sigh I leaned down and kissed her firmly on the mouth.

"Alice," I commanded. "Shush."

She blinked. "Oh."

I smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I want to know what's really going on with you."

"Nothing-"

"If you lie to me I'll never forgive you for missing graduation."

She bowed her head. "Bella, that's not fair."

"Al, I need to know." I took her hands in mine. "You really scared me today. I had no idea if you'd been hurt by someone or what was going on. Not that anyone did. You owe us some sort of explanation don't you think?"

Her features darkened a little more. "I can't do that."

"Why? You can tell me anything."

"I know. It's just... I haven't really worked it out for myself yet."

I waited for more, trying to control the knot in my stomach.

"If there were someone I would talk to about it with it would be you. It's just... frightening. I'm not sure I can face it yet."

Wishing I knew what 'it' was so I could fight it off for her, wanting to support her, and trying to control my own fears at the moment was proving difficult. But I needed to be there for her in the way she wanted me to be. She wasn't going to go through this alone, even if I was half in the dark.

"No matter what you need," I repositioned myself so that I was behind her, holding her closely to me. "I'm here."

She leaned in closer with a sight and hugged me back. In a whisper, "Thank you."

We stayed that way for a while, enjoying being close. When she shut her eyes I almost wondered if she were having the same dream type of vision, but she soon opened them again.

"Charlie will be calling soon," she said. "I've already stolen enough of your day."

"Then steal the night too."

She shifted too look up at me oddly. "Well that was awfully suggestive."

I shrugged. "Was it?"

She grinned, leaning in for another kiss. My breath caught and I swore I had never felt anything so sweet, and so real.

"By the way," she took my hand and began to get out of bed. I blindly followed. "Were those cookies I smelled?" She almost stepped on one but then did a light arabesque out of the way. She spun me around with her and I couldn't keep from smiling as we started dancing, kicking the fallen cookies away with our bare feet. All the darkness from the day, the tears and anguish began to disappear as we put on some upbeat music and let the awful day unfold into nighttime.

**Please review!**


	22. Fish

**Fish**

Time passed and I began to think about the incident at graduation less and less. Alice and I spent a perfect summer together, taking two amazing trips to California where Renee was currently living. My mother didn't really believe in that little thing called privacy and more than once she nearly caught us showing our affection. Luckily Alice had super human speed as well as a talent for acting and we squeaked by each time. Still, she didn't seem to believe things were over between Edward and I.

"He was so charming and I thought you liked him."

"I did. It just didn't work out."

"Boys can be so naive at your age. I wouldn't blame yourself."

"Yeah, Bella," Alice chimed in mostly to tease me. "Even if he was pretty mature for his age."

It wasn't that I didn't still feel bad about the way things ended, I guess I just felt it coming for so long, and talking about it so openly was not what I wanted to do.

"Well who needs boys when I've got such a great friend right here." I pulled Alice in for a sideways hug, grinning through my mother's unsatisfied expression. I think she'd been secretly planning our wedding all along and was disappointed to say the least.

"What about you, Alice? Do you have a boyfriend? I thought I remembered something about a young man who used to live with your family... Jason was it?"

"No I don't. You're probably thinking of Rosalie and Em." she chirped, pushing me away playfully. The sun was setting, getting caught in her golden eyes. I tried not to stare.

"Was that it? What is this world coming to when two such lovely girls can't find decent young men?"

"We're okay, mom, really."

After a few more rounds of similar conversation Alice noted that it was getting late. After we were sure Renee was asleep we walked out onto the deserted beach that was a little under a mile from her house. The last traces of orange could be seen in the star studded sky. The waves calmly matched my breathing as warm sand parted softly under my bare feet. We could finally link hands and be close in a way I could never let anyone else see.

"Have you ever thought about telling her?" Alice asked, searching the sand for interesting shells.

"About what? Us?"

She nodded, looking at me seriously.

"No way. She doesn't need to know."

"You'd be surprised what parents can handle."

"Well we all can't have perfect, super model families."

She looked as if I'd stepped on her foot and managed for it to hurt.

"I'm sorry. You know how much I love your family-"

"No, it's not that... I was just thinking of my real parents. I wonder what they would have thought of us."

Alice didn't talk about her past. Ever. I wondered what had made her decide to bring it up now.

"It's just I grew up in such a different world. The roaring twenties. I bet it was spectacular, but of course this sort of relationship would be out of the question."

"You don't remember a thing?"

"Sometimes I think I do, but then I just wonder if I'm imagining it." She spun the pearl I'd found earlier for her that day between her hands, thinking. "I've done a lot of research on myself, trying to find out more, but then I wonder why. I'm perfectly happy." she smiled though I caught the hint of sadness in her voice.

"It's normal to wonder. I can't even imagine what that must be like. Not knowing your own history... Have you ever thought about contacting them?"

"Oh yes. I have a niece."

"I remember you mentioned that once. Have you thought about maybe visiting her?"

She smiled. "And say what? Hi, I'm your mother's crazy sister who was checked into an asylum at nineteen, and turned into a vampire almost a hundred years ago?"

I shrugged.

"I might give her a heart attack. She'd be very old now."

"Well she might have had children too. I'm just saying if you want to, you could reconnect with them."

She pulled me down to lay in the sand with her. She held me close as the waves grazed the shore.

"That's the most I've talked about it with anyone," she whispered. "All that uncertainty scares me."

"It's your life, Alice. There's nothing you can't handle. You're so strong."

"Thanks love. I wish I believed it myself."

I stroked her porcelain skin, never before feeling something so soft. I wanted to take all that turmoil inside her and throw it out into the tide, letting it dissolve into the darkness where it belonged, letting my angel go.

"I know you were amazing. Just because your family couldn't see it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. They were just afraid, and couldn't understand your premonitions."

"Sweetheart, you don't have to say-"

"I think you need to hear it." I insisted. "All that really matters is that you know who you are _now._ That you know that you have a family who loves you and would never hurt you. If I could change the past for you I swear I would."

"I believe you," she whispered, hugging me tighter. She smiled with a little laugh. "You know in a way I feel as if you've always been with me somehow. Seeing you for the first time was like remembering a faded memory. One I still can't place like the rest of my past, but stronger. Something was always there through all the pain pushing me forward, promising one day..."

"Promising what?"

"An answer. Something waiting for me, worth fighting for."

"Love?"

"Yes. Love, acceptance, freedom. I knew I had all that when I met the Cullens, but with you it just all feels complete. Like things finally make sense and I don't have to hide anymore."

I could only bob my head like an idiot, agreeing with everything she'd said, reflecting her feelings as my own. With her everything felt so right and balanced. Her hands worked their way through my hair gently and down to my hips, leaning her forehead against mine. I realized that my breath had quickened.

"Alice," I said almost panicked. "I've never felt this before." I'd thought I'd loved Edward, but this was just so much more-

"I'm in love with you too," she said.

"Hey! You can't even wait for me to say it first?" I pretended to be angry, pushing her away across the sand and folding my arms with a pout.

She giggled and leapt to her feet, towering over me. "You're right, that was rude, I just couldn't wait any more to say it." She began to scoop me up into her arms. "I'll make it up to you."

"What are you doing?" I held on but feared the direction she was headed in. She began to run at the water.

"No, Alice, it'll be freezing!"

"You've never seen this before have you?"

"Seen myself drenched and shivering? Yeah, it's a real hoot-now let go!"

"Haven't you always wondered what it's like to fly, Wendy?" she said with a wink.

Without another word of explanation she splashed through the shallow waves out into the deeper water, going so fast that I had to shut my eyes. I then realized that despite a few drops of water I was completely dry. Within seconds we were a mile from land, nothing but water surrounding us. I looked down at her blurred feet. She was running so quickly that she was actually able to stay buoyant without breaking the surface. She was able to skip across the water faster than gravity was pulling us down, her feet only touching the liquid for a fraction of a second. I let out a cry of astonishment and she smiled down at me. "Am I forgiven?" she shouted over the wind.

"Yes!" I yelled, pulling her head down into a kiss. "I love you, Alice Cullen!"

With one swift movement she moved me onto her shoulders so that I felt like I was flying-we _were_ flying! The water was so clear that I could see fish far below us through the moonlight, the night air energizing. The most thrilling moment of my life spent with the woman I loved. Had I known happiness until then?

"Bella!" she called after what felt like an hour of brilliant soaring. I was a bird, a superhero! "Bella!" It occurred to me that we seemed to be veering off our fairly straight coarse. She gripped me tighter and turned around so quickly I almost flew off. I looked down to find her face absolutely horror struck.

"What's wrong?"

The only answer that came was the shaky slowing of her legs, which had been pumping like hummingbird wings only a moment ago. There was no way she could be worn out. I'd seen her keep up faster speeds than this for hours. The way we were headed we would not make it close to shore.

"Alice, it's okay, you're a good swimmer!" I personally wasn't the best, but I could at least float and move around slowly. It wouldn't be difficult for her to get us both back to land.

But still no answer came. As I was about to call to her again we suddenly fell right through the surface. Having lost the momentum needed to skip like a stone, we began to sink like one instead. I was thrown off a little further than her and flailed back to find her before the strong waves separated us even more. Water gushed into my lungs as I found it difficult to fight the current. I had no choice but to struggle out of my jacket as it was weighing me down. I kicked back to where I thought we'd crashed but didn't see her anywhere.

"Alice!" I shouted, panic welling up inside me, spreading like fire as my eyes only met dark blue waves all around. There was no way she'd gone under...

"Oh God! _Alice_!"

**A/N: Please review. :D **


	23. Tiger

**Tiger**

I am excellent at controlling my anxiety in high stress situations. For about two minutes. I managed to last ten before letting myself fall back into an all too familiar stupor of hysteria. I tried focussing on my breathing, keeping my strokes in the water regular. I told myself Alice was alright even though she was nowhere in sight. Nothing helped. One minute we were literally walking on water and the next I was stranded alone in the middle of the ocean, in the middle of the night. I sucked in a lung full of air and submerged myself in the numbingly cold water, straining my eyes to seek her out. But there were only shadows from the moonlight. The current must have separated us more than I'd thought.

Clumsily I positioned myself so I was floating on top of the waves to conserve my energy, an icy breeze quickly forcing me back under. I could try to swim for shore but I wasn't even entirely sure which direction it was in. Even if I did there was no way it would be close. Not having any confidence in my swimming abilities already, the idea was quickly thrown out. That left me with few options. One of them was yelling louder than I'd ever had to yell before, calling Alice's name over and over, calling out for anyone who might hear. But even if by some chance someone were out this late, it was impossible they would spot my pathetic splashing in the dim starlight.

It felt better to be out of the wind so I swam below for a while, trying to reach the bottom. As much as I couldn't imagine Alice sinking helplessly I couldn't rule it out. But I couldn't make it all the way without coming up for air. I strained my lungs as much as they would allow, but soon I was too exhausted to continue. I willed myself not to weep as my head broke the surface again, biting my lip in irritation. I had to keep a level head. I knew vampires didn't need to breath, so there wasn't much worry of her drowning. Still, vampires weren't supposed to vanish into thin air either. She had tried to warn me. She felt something was wrong. What could it have been? Maybe if I'd stopped to pay attention we wouldn't be in this mess. The only thing I could think of was that she must have had another vision. Like the one before at graduation. The one she still wouldn't open up to me about despite my hinting. It had happened afterwards too. She had tried to stay calm and go off calmly with some excuse but I always knew the real reason. We'd be sitting in a movie and she'd suddenly seem to doze off. Once she flung herself out my bedroom window abruptly with a hasty "I need to hunt!" and I wouldn't see her for the rest of the day.

There were secrets between us. Big, ugly, fearful secrets she couldn't share and I couldn't force her to. I lowered my face into the water so I wouldn't have to feel the tears fall. She loved me. But she couldn't trust me. That thought stung sharper than the frigid air. If she had told me maybe we could have figured it out together, not waiting till the problem left us stranded grasping at straws. I tried to fight it, but I couldn't help but feel anger towards her. It felt like she was literally scaring me to death, my heart beating much too quickly, every good feeling seeming as far off as the sand, Renee's warm house. Even she wouldn't think to look for us in the morning. We were always going off on our own. It could be hours until someone found us. How long could I keep treading water?

After what felt like an entire night I knew I had to try to find land. I felt as though I was abandoning her even though I would have to know where she was to do that. A brief hope grew inside me as I wondered if she'd swam to safety. Maybe she was just busy getting help. But no, Alice would look for me herself. There was no doubt in my mind that she would find me if she was able. I could just hope she wasn't in pain, that she was safe somewhere. I tried to focus on that thought as I made sloppy strokes through the waves. Weariness took hold. Normally I would be fast asleep in her arms by now. The faint glow of dawn could be seen sneaking back into the dreary sky. If only I could just lie on my back and float to shore. I found myself biting my lip with worry again but then froze.

Blood. Vampires weren't the only creatures who could detect it from great distances. I sucked at the wound I hadn't really noticed before, trying to stop the bleeding. Light as it was, I had no knowledge whatsoever on the subject of sea predators. I wasn't sure how long it had been flowing either. It was a habit that had gotten me in trouble before. I should really have known better.

Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

I first felt the water shift as if someone had jumped in off a diving board. I could have dismissed it as the wind except there was none. Exhausted as I was I couldn't ignore the feeling of something cold brush against my leg. It was probably for the best that I froze up with terror instead of flailing about. _It could just be a fish_, I tried to reason with myself. _A really big fish..._

Dread filled my veins as the undoubtable truth weighed upon me.

I was about to be torn to pieces by a shark.

I didn't know what else to do but hold still. Long minutes passed with my eyes clamped shut and my heart racing. What could I do? Should I yell for help one last time before those enormous jaws took me? But all I could think of was her. Her voice, whispering to me through a bad dream, her light touch as she stroked my hair. Please let this be just another nightmare._ Wake me up, Alice. Please. Tell me this isn't happening_. But the cold just grew colder and the dark shadow beneath me did not melt away. It wasn't until I heard the ear splitting whistle that I was shocked from my fear. Bright lights shone from a couple miles away. The sound of an engine humming, coming closer. I waved my arms, trying not to disturb the water too much but it proved useless. I was making huge splashes and screaming at the top of my lungs.

"Over here! Help!" I cried, glancing back into the water to try and spot the creature. Maybe the boat had scared it off? It looked as if the vessel were heading in a different direction but to my relief it turned and headed straight towards me.

"Are you hurt?" Called a man's voice drowned out from the harsh lights.

"No," I yelled back, hoping it was true. "But I think there might be a shark nearby!"

"What?" the man called. I could almost reach out and touch the boat now. The thought of being out of the water made me realize just how drained I was.

"Shark," I bellowed, grabbing on to the boat's side. A hand reached down and I grabbed it right away. When the shark's head broke the surface I screamed and all but jumped into the man's arms, almost knocking him over. To my horror he only laughed and spoke to the animal affectionately.

"What have I told you about this, Sasha? You bad girl. Scaring the poor girl to death." He had a German accent and was dressed in an expensive white suit. "You must forgive her. She's mostly harmless really."

I sat dripping on the deck, trying to catch my breath and my wits, Before I could do so a large blanket was around me and the man was speaking what I assumed was German to the shark.

"Tiger sharks do not usually attack, but even when they are trained like her you want to be careful." It wasn't until then I noticed the severe pallor of his skin, the odd color of his eyes. I jumped to my feet, backing towards the back of the boat. I knew as soon as I had done it it was a bad move. It was always best to make vampires think you were oblivious to their nature. That you didn't really know they were anything but human. But now I wasn't sure which put me in more danger. The shark infested waters or the blood thirsty vampire. I wished for the hundredth time that Alice were with me.

He didn't advance, only looked at me curiously. "I can see very well you know of what I am."

I could only nod.

"You don't have to worry." He clapped his hands over his stomach and laughed. "I have just eaten. With your friend."

I should have been able to relax a little, but I didn't know him. A stranger was potentially dangerous, but an unknown vampire was almost always fatal. Wait, did he say 'with my friend'?

"Alice?" I asked in a whisper.

"She said you would be out here and I should please go look for you." With that he struck a match and lit a cigar.

"You found her? She's okay? Where is she? Did she-"

"You speak very quickly for my English," he chuckled. "There is heater inside and house is not too far away. Come sit and do not freeze, okay?"

Somehow I managed to bring myself over to the shelter where I practically hugged the little heater. I didn't move until I was handed a bit of gauze. He pointed to his lip.

"If you could please stop the bleeding," he said, still keeping his distance.

"Oh-" I blurted, pressing the gauze to the still open cut on my lip. "Sorry."

He shrugged and went to steer the boat, speeding up. "I could smell you and your friend in the night," he explained. "Well, Sasha did first. Your friend was asleep when we found her. Does she do that a lot?"

I sighed. "It seems that way."

"Very strange. She spoke of many stories."

"Stories?"

"While she slept," he explained. "Something about person called Cynthia and pearls. Does this make sense to you?"

Actually it did. Cynthia was the name of her sister. I pulled out the pearl we had found earlier that was still in my pocket, remembering that her father had been a pearl trader and jeweler. Alice seemed to be focussed a lot on her past lately. I rolled it around my palm, deep in thought, a theory forming. When she slept did she not have visions of the future, but memories of the past? I shuddered to think of how painful it might be, but more so at the suspicion that she might be regaining some of her memory. Was she uncovering more about herself in these visions she refused to share with anyone else? She'd never had a problem sharing the future, but when it came to her past life she would hardly say two words.

But soon we'd arrived at a large house hidden behind tall plants, the sunrise making it look like a postcard. Alice stood on the dock where our German rescuer tied up the boat. Our eyes met and I knew my theory was correct. She had the haunted look of memories in her eyes. But would she share them with me? Could I help her fight off her demons?

Did she even want them to go?

**A/N: I wanted to do a lot more with this chapter but I'm afraid I just didn't have the time. I've been sick for weeks and have been preparing for a trip. Excuses, I know, but I hope you liked it all the same. I'd love to hear your thoughts and theories. Unfortunately I'm going to have to take some time away from this project again. Two months starting monday. I can't wait to start writing again though and I hope some of you are still here when I return but I understand if the time gaps are too annoying. I hope all of you have a fantastic summer! Keep reading, keep scribbling,**

**-MIS**


	24. Tick Tock

I wasn't sure if I wanted to hug her or hit her. I'd been so scared, so lost out there in the middle of the ocean. I thought I was going to be eaten by a shark! I realized I'd stopped shaking though and the worst of the shock was over. Being around danger, around vampires, had toughened me up a little it seemed. But when I looked at her, her slight figure that never really seemed small at all, but strong and confident, all I saw was fear. She was the one who looked as if she'd been drowning. Her eyes were dimmer. There was something horribly wrong. I couldn't be mad at her now.

Not even trying for words, I took her around the shoulders and led her inside the stranger's house. Something that might have concerned me before. But I'd had enough. There was a fire lit, probably for me seeing as neither of them could feel the cold really. I sat the two of us down on adjoining chairs and took her face, meeting her eyes.

"Alice," I said as calmly as I could. "Tell me what happened."

She only shook her head as if she didn't know.

"Try? I've got nothing here. One minute we were running... and then-"

"No, Bella, I can't. I can't."

She pulled from my hands and turned to the fire. She looked older than I'd ever seen her before. Not exactly old, but as if all her life were weighted on her all at once. I was about to reach out again when I heard the man who'd saved us come inside.

Not knowing what to say now that this stranger could hear us, I asked his name.

"Burk. At least that's what she insists my name is."

Alice gave a little shrug.

"I am Doctor Roderich-"

"That's not your name. You _told_ me your name was Burk," Alice interrupted. "When we met before."

He smiled, shrugged and began to head in the other room which I now noticed was a huge but empty kitchen. The whole house did seem quite expensive. High vaulted ceilings and dark wood and leather furniture contrasting with a striking cream and silver theme. It must have been a vampire thing. Expensive home with nothing to really fill them.

"What kind of doctor are you?" I followed him into the kitchen.

"A neurologist primarily. I dabble in other sciences too."

I had to decide quickly if I wanted to trust him. But Alice needed help and he had saved our lives.

"Maybe you can do something for her. You see she has this... gift."

"She tells me she can see into the future."

"Basically, yes. But lately she's been having these other kinds of visions. They're really hurting her. I think more than she'll tell me... But she'll pass out and see the past. I don't know what it means."

"She reminds me very much of a friend I had back home. It was when I was still human, a very long time ago. He said to have a similar situation. In fact, very similar..." He trailed off, thinking deeply. Without warning he sprang into action and left into another room, then another. I hadn't been invited to follow, but still I felt that I should. I glanced back at Alice who was sitting calmly on the couch. She looked worried but okay to be left alone.

Inside a large study, a sort of work room, Roderich was sifting through piles of neat papers on a table. I turned on the light switch and joined him. Odd instruments, curious artifacts in glass cases, shelves packed with books. Blueprints, legal sheets, what looked like every type of paper in the world was there in that room, and he scavenged through them all before emerging.

"Ah!" he shouted, something like glee showing on his face. "Here it is."

"What is it?"

He seemed to notice me for the first time. "My friend," he put his hand on my shoulder. "I think I recognize her problem. I believe I have seen it before. I want to help her. Will that be acceptable?"

"Of course. If you can, please!" I hesitated.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just..."

"I am stranger to you."

"Yeah."

He went back to the table. "I understand. You should not trust me with your dear friend right away. But I must warn you, I do not think she has much time."

He paused to light a cigar he withdrew from his suit jacket. "Do you mind?"

"No, go ahead. But what do you mean? How is she running out of time?"

"About three hundred years ago I was with my friend when he was bitten. He was a very strong and brave person. The only reason I was not bitten too was because my friend and I killed the vampire, who was badly injured already. She had been in a fight with an entire clan just hours before and had not had time to recover. I cared for my friend as best I could but eventually he started craving blood. I insisted he turn me too so I could share his grief but he refused. Then the dreams started occurring."

"Dreams like Alice's?"

"Yes and no. They were dreams of the future. At first they were small. He would dream of the time he would awake for example, what someone would be wearing. Then he dreamt far far into the future. Into this time. Of jets and submarines. It began to hurt him so it was hard for him to wake up." His face grew grim. "He warned me not to wake him anymore, that he awoke feeling threatened and frightened, that he might hurt anyone who woke him from one of his prophesies. I knew, but still I did this. I wanted him to turn me into a vampire you see. I knew I could not solve his problem in my lifetime, not with such little technology. So he bit me. He was so furious he didn't speak with me for fifty five years."

"I'm sorry. Did you end up figuring out what was wrong?"

His face brightened. "Yes. I did! I managed to help him... oh, maybe it was seventy years ago."

It had taken him over two hundred years to figure out what was wrong with his friend then. I tried not to let my doubt show on my face.

"I had to adjust to the new lifestyle, if you will, before I could start my research."

"When I found him again he was in a sort of coma. As I'm sure you know it is not usual for vampire to sleep, not ever to be in a coma. I later learned that all this time he had been _in the future."_

_ "_What do you mean?"

He pulled out a silver pocket watch and looked at me curiously.

"What do you know about time travel?"

**Please review. :) Questions/ideas welcome. **


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